Innocent Criminals

A really interesting form, that makes reading very easy. A great deal of ambiguity as well that is quite nice, however I feel you shouldn't take it too far. There is a sense that this poem starts to veer off towards the end, at the beginning it was really quite original, however cliches begin to creep in, although if you wrote this in class that's not hard to see why

Hi

Well,first off I do enjoy your poem, because it does express mixed feelings and confusion that a person is feel. The words are nice though some could be morphed into something more...I'm not sure, maybe sophisticated?

'That I locked the gate of
In my mind.' Im not sure what you mean by that but is it 'That I locked the gate up. In my mind.' Maybe proof read it so its a little more comprehensible and yet keep that vibe, that way the person is getting hurt by the way the criminal is trying to repair them.

I like it all over,but I cant remember the rest of what I was gonna write....silly me! Well, keep on writing so you can get better!!

Hello

I Really Like This Poem. I Was Different, very different but a good different. I Think Alot Of People Will Read Just Because Of The Title. It Catches People Eye. But What Is Really Good Is The Poem Its Self. But Great Job I Think You Should Make More. Good Luck.

=Hi Over Diffusely!

I like this poem, I particularly like the first half, the second half isn't as good and I'll go into why in a bit. I enjoy the listing attitude up until a point and I think the examples you use are excellent (the modal verb etc).

Let's begin with the terms of the first half being better than the second, a lot of that is coming from the listing. By the time we hit "It's weird..." we're pretty over that method. We get those two solid lines,

It's weird, the destruction,
The ticking bomb you wound

and then the list slips back in. Stop listing! XD We need some more meat, we need some more content so that we have something more to back the emotions you're trying to bring about. Show us why he is like a modal verb, use the verb, use an example of what he is doing, before we shoot blindly at him, as it were. The second half is also far less direct and loses the sense of order that the first half already has going for it.

I feel like you probably have a good amount of imagery, metaphor and simile up your sleeves, and I’d love to play around with that a bit more. Never be afraid to flaunt what you have in poetry, that’s the only reason some people read it. The second half needs to tighten up, go back to the direct manner and shake some of that awkward phrasing off, the last line in particular is hairy as anything. It is convoluted and not a little odd on the whole. Mostly because of the "seem to give" the seem is a qualification which you don't need. I know this was written in class so I am being as light on this review as I can. But really, I like this and what you're doing here. Write more, please!

Thank you for writing this and thinking to post it! If you have any questions, queries or just want to chat please feel free to hit me up at any time!

~ Pen.

Hello there! I find your poem very interesting. It's an awesome display of feelings bursting right into the inspiration, we all have that. The only thing that I would change if I were you is the title into "Innocent Criminal" (singular)... but if it's about you AND the person described in your poem, then I would leave it the same. Keep writing!

~Bard

Nice its a little bit hard to understand but interesting.