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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

Blood Pet- Chapter One

by Chaotic Romance


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

A/N: there is a prologue that comes before this chapter!

When I woke up, I knew something was wrong without even opening my eyes.

For one thing, I was lying in a nice comfortable bed that I did not remember climbing into. Nor, did it feel like my own… these sheets felt much too expensive to be the cheap cotton crap my mom buys at Wal-Mart.

Second, I had the worst headache… seriously; it felt like someone had smacked me one too many times with a hammer. I’ve never had a headache this bad before… unless, I had been drinking, and even then, that had only happened once when I had a little too much alcohol and after that, I swore to myself that I would never ever do that again. So, unless someone forced fed me the stuff then that was not the case here.

The headache just got worse as I opened my eyes to study my surroundings.

I was definitely not in my own bedroom… the bed was too big and the room was way too clean. The furniture that was in the room was sparse, but what was there was elegant… there was a desk to the right of the bed that was clear of everything except a small lamp; right next to that there was a huge bay window with a nice window seat; the blinds were closed so I couldn’t tell whether it was day or not; though one glance at the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table informed me of the time: 10:05 ; the only light that was in the room came from a small lamp that sat on the same table with the clock.

The sudden sound of a key in the door to the left of the bed made me jump and I jerked my head towards the sound… they locked me in here? What the hell?!

A woman entered, probably no older than twenty carrying what appeared to me some pieces of clothing. When she caught sight of me on the bed, she smiled, her brown eyes lighting up, “Oh... good, you’re awake… the Master will be pleased.”

I arched my eyebrows at her words, The Master?!?

“Where am I?” I asked after finally getting my voice back after the girl’s first statement. “What the hell is going on?” I asked when my first question got no reply.

She just smiled at me, “The Master will explain everything to you. Once you are presentable enough to see him of course.” She glanced pointedly at my outfit then at my hair, which after a glance down at my body and a hand to me hair; I realized that I really needed to clean up. My clothes were rumpled and my hair felt greasy and dirty.

I scrunched my nose up in disgust at the feel of the dirty strands.

As I tried to wrack my brain to figure out how I had gotten here in the first place (since the girl was being no help at all), everything came flooding back to me

I had been at the new club in town, celebrating my best friend Tara’s 21st birthday, having a great time, drinking and dancing with the many people that were there on the opening night. I had gone off to the bathroom and while I was in the small room, I heard loud screams of terror and knew that something was seriously wrong. I quickly washed my hands before I made my way back to the front. I remember people running, screaming and blood… so much blood. On the wall, the floor and dripping from the mouths of several of the patrons as they dropped what appeared to be lifeless bodies to the floor. I was hidden for now, watching the blood bath unfold before me as everyone was brutally murdered right before my eyes. I saw my best friend Tara, her eyes staring lifelessly as a large male dropped her body to the floor.

I watched as a man stepped up onto the raised stage, the one where the DJ had been playing loud rock music only minutes before.

“Are they all dead?” he asked, looking around expectantly. He was absolutely gorgeous. His features were very angelic, shoulder length brown hair and light blue eyes from what I could tell. His features were sharp and just plain perfect.

There was a mumble of agreement among the remaining people, out of the seventy or so patrons, only eight were left.

The man on stage smiled, showing perfectly straight teeth, except for his incisors that were longer and much sharper than the rest of them. I gulped, as the realization slowly dawned on me as to what had happened. These were not humans and this was not a normal bar at all.

He paused, smiling in satisfaction before he stopped and the happy smirk on his face vanished. “It appears that we’ve missed one…”he noted, “This one is very good at hiding…”I didn’t get too scared until he jerked his head and stared right at me.

Oh… shit. Now, I was screwed. Since the seven others in the room all turned their heads to stare as well.

The main continued to smirk at me, as I realized I couldn’t take my eyes off his. Come out here, little one, we won’t hurt you. His lips didn’t even move, his voice was only in my mind and I found myself wanting to follow the order. I took one step forwards before I realized what I was doing. I didn’t want to do this! His voice was softer in my head now as I tried my hardest to not listen. Come now… his voice was a deep baritone, very coaxing. I was sweating in my attempt to not follow the order, my leg was up in the air, as he tried to get me to step forward and I tried to get myself to step back. I knew he was lying to me. If I went near him, he would kill me just like everyone else in this place. I didn’t want to die… at least, not without a fight. I would not go like the cow to the slaughter.

With the strength I didn’t even know I possessed, I jerked my eyes away from his and screamed “NO!” at the top of my lungs, “I will NOT.”I stomped my foot on the floor and stood my ground.

His eyes narrowed.

“If you want me, come get me, bloodsucker!”I taunted, speaking before I could really think about what I was saying.

I gulped at the look on his face, his eyes flashed red and his face contorted cruelly.

“You want to play, human?” he asked, his voice held a slight lisp due to the fangs in his mouth, “Very well… we will play then.” With a single nod the seven others began stalking towards me. My mind raced as I quickly tried to come up with some sort of plan, until I remembered the small pocket knife I had hid in the secret pocket of my skirt, I brought it everywhere with me. I scrambled to get hold of it before one of the things coming towards me could get close enough to do much harm. I grasped it tightly in my sweaty hand and brandished it threateningly in front of me. It might not be much and it might not save me from a bunch of hungry vampires, but it was better than nothing.

I gasped as I was suddenly grabbed from behind and shoved into a masculine chest. My captor chuckled darkly, his mouth inches from my ear. The sound made me shiver uncontrollably for a few moments, “Do you think that puny little knife will do anything, human?” he asked, tracing his hand lightly down my arms to rest on my right hand, the one currently hold the knife in a vice like grip. “Unless this knife is made of pure silver, it will do nothing, but piss me or anyone else that you use it against off. Now, I’m already a bit pissed that you’ve managed to survive all this… and you now know way too much, do you really want to make me angrier?”

“I suppose you’re right… but, what does it matter what I know now? Since, you’re planning on killing me anyway?”

“Just because I’ve captured you and have you in my grasp, doesn’t mean I want to kill you.”I could hear the amused smirk in his voice.

The words stunned me. What the hell did they mean?

My thoughts were interrupted by the sudden sharp pain in my right wrist; he was squeezing it in an attempt to get me to drop the knife, but I refused to back down, he chuckled again, “I guess you would rather me break your wrist then give up your pathetic excuse for a weapon. Very well.”

He gripped my arm tighter and just when I thought he was going to actually break my wrist, I let the knife fall from my hand, I winced as it clattered loudly on the hardwood floor. “Good girl” he whispered, as he trailed his hand back up my arm to cup my face, I shivered at the touch. “You are very beautiful and strong willed… perfect for my collection.”

Collection?! What the hell?!

“What kind of sick pervert are you? I am not an object that is meant to be collected!”

“Oh… but, I disagree. Humans serve two purposes in my world… food and trophies.”

“Well, hate to break it to you buddy, but this human isn’t so easily caught.” I spat before I did the only thing I could think of to get out of his tight grip, I pulled my leg up and kicked him where it hurt, at the same time I pulled my head back and bashed it up against his own.

Even if he was a vampire, he wasn’t immune to that kind of kick the former one was and he doubled over in pain, holding his groin with a pained and angry expression on his face. I didn’t really hang around to see much of his reaction since I bolted for the nearest door, which happened to be a few feet to my right.It wasn’t an exit, but it was all I had so I was going to have to make do with it.

I could hear him cursing in some language I didn’t understand “What are you all standing around for?! Catch her! But, don’t kill her; bring her back to me alive and unharmed!” Those were the last words I heard before the door slammed shut and I was left in a dark and silent hallway.

“Are you alright?”

I suddenly came back to the present at the sound of her voice. She was staring intently at me, a quizzical look on her face.

“Yea, I’m fine.” I said.

“Well, come along then… let’s get you cleaned up.”

“What? But –” I couldn’t even finish that sentence before she had yanked me off the bed and pulled me into the adjoining bathroom. I gasped at the sight, it was huge. I could probably fit my entire bedroom and my bathroom in here with room to spare. It was completely made of white tile with a tub that could seat at least six people comfortably and a shower that looked like it could hold the same number. There were two sinks, over each was a circular mirror and when I caught sight of my reflection, I gasped. My hair was a complete wreck; it looked like I had woken up with a really bad case of bed head, not to mention my hair was stringy and looked, as well as felt really greasy. My clothes were also a complete mess, so wrinkled that I was afraid that no amount of ironing would fix them.

The girl turned to me, “Yea… it’s pretty bad,” she said, obviously noticing my look of horror, “You were out longer than anyone expected. Usually the girls who are brought here are only unconscious for a couple of days, but you were out for nearly a week. The Master was starting to get worried.”

There was that phrase again.

“Who is this Master guy?” I asked.

“I told you… you’ll meet him as soon as you are presentable. The sooner, the better… he is not a very patient man.” She urged as she made an attempt to undress me.

“Um… I’m a big girl… I think I can bathe myself, thanks.” I said, stepping away from her.

“Very well, but please hurry,” she sighed, “I will put the clothes that you are to change into on the bed for you,” she said, “and, I’ll wait out there for you as well.” She told me before she left me alone.

Well, that was easy.

I didn’t even get her name… oh well, I would ask her the next time I see her.

I made my way over to the shower, deciding that that would be faster since judging by the size of the tub, it would probably take at least ten minutes just to fill the damn thing.

I showered quickly, as I did so, I tried to figure what the hell was going on and where the hell I was, but I came up blank. I had no idea and I just hoped that I was going to be given answers soon since I wasn’t a very patient person.

I wrapped a large fluffy towel around my wet body as I stepped out of the shower; rubbing the towel through my damp hair as I went. Well, at least the shower made me feel better even if I had no idea what the hell was going on, I could be happy to know that I was now nice and clean, which was always a good feeling to me.

I stepped out of the bathroom to find the bedroom deserted which was odd… she said she would be out here when I got out. Well, at least she left the clothes behind, that was nice of her. As I made my way over to the bed where the clothes lay I got the strange feeling that I was not alone and I jerked around and nearly dropped the towel in surprise.

A man was sitting in the large armchair by the door.

“Who the hell are you?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest to keep the towel from slipping even an inch.

He smiled, showing perfectly even teeth, looked like he was able to retract his fangs when he felt like it since they weren’t there now, but I knew they were, “I think you already know the answer to that question, don’t you Jessica?” I jerked at the sound of my name from his mouth, how the hell did he know that? Though, he was right… I did know who he was… he was the one that was standing on the stage in the club however long ago that was.

“I know many things about you, Jessica,” he continued, “You’d be surprised what your thoughts, both conscious and unconscious can reveal about you.”

“How do you know –”

“What you’re thinking?” he finished, “how do youthink?”

I stared at him, what the hell was he smoking?

He chuckled, “I’m not smoking anything, Jessica,” he said.

“Are you sure? You seem to have this deranged idea that you can read my mind.”

“I can assure you… none of my thoughts are deranged in any way.”

I snorted, “Sure… keep telling yourself that.”

I was suddenly overtaken by a chill that came out of seemingly nowhere. It was a good thing though since it brought the fact that I was still standing in front of this man in nothing but a towel to my attention; the surprise of him being in there at all had made me forget that little fact. I glared at him, “Do you mind?”

He just looked at me, a half smile on his face.

I let out a grown of frustration as I stomped towards the bed, grabbed the few pieces of clothing lying on the comforter and headed back into the bathroom. However, when I turned around, he was blocking my way, “Do you mind getting out of my way? I would like to change before I catch a cold.”

Before he could reply the door opened and the girl came in; the man took one look at her and his eyes narrowed and when her own eyes fell on him she noticeably gulped, “Cindy, I thought I told you to keep watch over her? I came in here, expecting to find you… not the half naked girl over there.” I glared at him for that comment, how rude!

“I’m sorry, Master” she whispered, so this was the Master, she was talking about earlier… I should have known; it made perfect sense, he had this air about him that made it obvious that he thought he was better than everyone else, “I only meant to leave her for a moment; I had to go to the bathroom.”

“No excuses! Go downstairs and finish your chores. I’ll deal with you later.” He ordered, the girl’s eyes widened, but she nodded before she quickly left the room, “As for you…” he trailed off, turning to face me, “Remove the towel.”

I was so shocked; I just stood there dumbfounded for a few moments, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Jessica.”

“I don’t know what kind of sick pervert you are, but I will not do that.”

“Do it, or I will.” He threatened, his eyes narrowing.

I snorted, “I’d like to see you try.” I challenged.

His eyes flashed red just like they did back in the club, but I refused to be intimidated. “Come on, asshole, if you want the towel off me so badly, then you do it.” I taunted, which only seemed to make him angrier since his face darkened considerably.

“You are in my house, Jessica. And, everyone here obeys me without question. I do not take kindly to those who don’t listen. So, unless you want to be in a whole lot of pain for a long time, I suggest you do as you are told.” he threatened.

“No.” I spat, “I will not. I am not your slave to order around. I am a human being and I demand to be treated with respect.”

The anger slowly drained from his face and was replaced by humor; he chuckled, the sound made me extremely uncomfortable since it wasn’t a very pleasant sound.

“What the hell is so funny?” I asked, still gripping the towel and the clothes in my hand.

“It doesn’t appear that you are able to grasp what is going on, Jessica. Yes, you are human, but you are in my house now, and you will stay here for as long as I want you to. You are below me and the rest of my men, you do not deserve respect, nor will you receive any.”

I barely heard the last sentence because I was too focused on what he had said before it, “What the hell? I am not a permanent resident here! You can’t keep me here against my will!”

He shrugged, “Yes, I can.” he said with a malicious smile.

I glared at him, trying to come up with something intelligent to say. “M-my parents will be worried about me… they’ll come looking for me sooner or later.”

“No, they won’t.” he shook his head, “Your parents think you’re dead. Such a tragic accident too...if only you hadn’t had too much to drink you wouldn’t have been drunk and therefore wouldn’t have crashed the car into a tree. An accident that killed you and your little friends. Such a tragedy.”

I opened my mouth about ready to tell him off for being such an uncaring jerk when the door suddenly banged open and a female entered the room, walking quickly and with purpose towards the man that blocked me from getting to the bathroom. She glanced at me and did a quick double take when she saw me in the towel.

It took a few seconds, but I finally realized why she looked so familiar… if it weren’t for the drastic difference in eye color; hers were a dark brown while mine were a light hazel, we could have probably passed as twins. She had light blonde hair like me and it was the same length as my own hair as well.

Wow. That’s just a little bit creepy.

If either of them noticed this odd little fact, they didn’t show any signs of it. To be honest, they were both now ignoring me. I found to be rather rude, but then again… this Tristan dude had already proven to me that he wasn’t really that polite anyway, so I wasn’t that surprised. Though, I could see him glancing quickly at me every couple of seconds, probably wanted to make sure that I didn’t move, so trying to move away from him was out of the question.

“Annabelle, what did I tell you about knocking?” the man asked, turning his attention away from me to look towards her.

“Sorry, Tristan… but this is important.” she replied.

So, that was the asshole’s name.

“What is it?” he asked, “I’m a little busy at the moment.” he said, nodding towards me.

“Derrick…”

“What did that moron do this time?”

“He attacked Cindy, I’m not quite sure why; the poor girl has never caused any problems. There’s a lot of blood though, Tristan. She might have to be taken to the hospital.”

Tristan muttered something in another language that I could only assume was a curse word, judging by Annabelle’s face it wasn’t a very nice word at all, “Well, it looks like you’ve just gotten extremely lucky, Jessica. Looks like we’ll have to postpone the rest of this meeting to a later date.”

“Aw…I’m so saddened by this news.” I said sarcastically, “Well… not really, since I can think of about a million things I’d rather be doing then standing here in a towel and talking to a perverted asshole such as yourself, Tristan.” I spat his name out like I would a curse word.

“You will soon learn, Jessica, that since you are human, you do not have the right to call me by my first name.”

I raised my eyebrow, “Then what do you want me to call you? Asshole? Pervert? Seriously deranged dude? I’m cool with all of them really.”

He glared at me, “No. My proper title is Master or Sir. I expect you to refer to me with either term every time you address me.”

I snorted, “I’ll only do that if you earn it. And, let me tell you, you are a long way off from earning so much as a respectful comment from me, let alone a respectful title.”

“I can tell you have a strong will… and I will take great pleasure in breaking it. It might take a month or a year, but I’m willing to take as long as needed to prove to you that I am in control and you are not. Nor, will you ever be again. In the end, you will break just like every slave in this household has before you.”

“It’ll be a cold day in hell before I willingly become your slave.” I spat.

“Well, you better get your coat on, Jessica… because you’re already in hell, and it’s definitely a bit nippy, don’t you think?” he smirked when I shivered at his words; the cold was getting to me again.

Damnit.

He ignored the glare I sent him as he made his way to the door, Annabelle following close behind him. At the door, he paused, turning to face me, “While I’m gone, I expect you to get dressed and then wait on the bed for my return, understood?”

“Whatever, asshole.” I muttered.

I gasped in surprise when he came out of nowhere to shove me into the nearest wall. “Looks like I get to enforce that rule already. Pity, we just met too.” he smirked, “Now, if you are not sitting dressed on that bed when I get back… the punishment will be twice as long and more painful than it already is going to be. Do I make myself clear?”

I glared into his blue eyes, which only darkened when I didn’t reply fast enough.

After a few more seconds, I spat, “Yes.”

He shoved me harder into the wall, his fingers digging painfully into my shoulders, “Yes what?” he growled.

I glared at him some more before finally replying, “Yes, sir.”

“Good girl,” he praised, patting me on the head like I was a dog. “I’ll be back soon. At that time, I will tell you the rest of the household rules. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone. I would hate to permanently damage such a beautiful creature,” he said, tracing the side of my face with the back of his hand. The action made me want to vomit or at least smack him, but there was nothing in my stomach that I could bring up and I couldn’t bring my hand up far enough to hit him. I couldn’t even kick him in the groin like last time because he was just out of reach.

He smirked, “I know what you’re thinking, Jessica and I know you’re moves from our previous encounter. I will never let you have the upper hand like that again. And, if you somehow manage to gain it again… you will regret it.” he let go of me so abruptly, I almost fell, but managed to keep my balance as I watched him head towards the door where Annabelle was still waiting for him, “Remember what I told you, Jessica. I would hate to have to punish you more than I already have to.” he said, before he left; slamming the door behind him, I heard the sound of the key in the lock and knew he had locked me on here.

What a pompous asshole.

He might be the “Master” in this house and I might be living in hell, but I refused to become his slave. I was a free person and I was going to do whatever the hell I wanted and if he didn’t like it, he could suck it up and deal with it. I, Jessica Ashley Smith, am not afraid of anything. Not even a rude vampire who had superiority complex and who needed to be taken down a notch or two off his high horse was going to scare me, even though, I probably should since he had the power to kill me, if he wanted to. But, if that was the case then I would I rather go out with a bang anyway.

I headed into the bathroom to follow his first “order”. Though, the only reason I was doing so was because I didn’t want to be in the stupid towel anymore. Otherwise, I would have stayed in it just to see what the ass would have done about it.

One way or another, I was going to show this guy that he made a big mistake when he decided to kill everyone in the club and kidnap me and turn me into his slave because I was not one to follow orders or be very docile either. Poor guy, he has no idea what he’s gotten himself into.


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81 Reviews


Points: 9485
Reviews: 81

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Sun Aug 31, 2014 6:06 pm
Masquerade wrote a review...



Hi, happy Review Day! I'm back for chapter 1. Well I thought this chapter had nice flow, like the prologue. You do a good job of that. Most of the issues I noticed were little mistakes in grammar. Here's some nitpicks:

"My mind raced as I quickly tried to come up"

You use a lot of "as" statements. I'm not sure if I mentioned this last time, but I noticed it in this chapter, too, and I think it would strengthen your writing to use less of these and have more variety.

"he wasn’t immune to that kind of kick the former one was"

Wait, this confused me. What former one? I'm not sure what this is about.

"this Tristan dude had already proven"

I don't recall learning his name before now, and then a few sentences later you wrote something about "so that's what his name was."

"become your slave.' I spat."

You do this a lot with your dialogue. When it's structured like this the period after slave should be a comma.

"he let go of me so abruptly"

He needs to be capitalized. It should be a new sentence.

Most of the issues were like these ones, and if you went through the piece carefully, perhaps reading it aloud, you would probably catch most of them.

To end with something I liked: I enjoy the main character quite a bit. She's got so much attitude. It'll be interesting to see how she handles things as time goes on and Tristan tries to break her.

Good work and happy writing!

-Masq




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223 Reviews


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Sun Aug 31, 2014 5:11 pm
Kelpies wrote a review...



Hello Chaotic Love!

This gets more and more intriguing! Yea sure it has a couple curse words, but it's totally worth it! I found two errors, but neither of them are very noticeable. I can't wait for the next chapter, this is one of those stories that makes me shiver, and yet, it has that touch that keeps you reading it; It's hard to explain. Can you please notify me when you post the next chapter? It would be great.

~Kelpies.




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Sun Aug 31, 2014 4:21 pm
ExOmelas wrote a review...



Nit-picks first:

'Nor, did it feel like my own' - you don't need a comma here.

'the same table with the clock' - 'with' should be 'as'.

'hand to me hair' - 'me' should be 'my'.

The first paragraph that describes what happened the night before was a bit rushed. It was interesting though and I would have enjoyed it far more had it been separated out into paragraphs for each event.

'we’ve missed one…”he noted' - there should be a space between the speech marks and 'he'. You do this later in the same paragraph and in the second instance the last sentence should actually have a paragraph of its own.

'The main continued to smirk at me' - 'main' should be 'man'. Also, the things that he says inside her head should be in italics because they are thoughts.

' I had hid' - 'hid' should be 'hidden'.

'the one currently hold the knife' - 'hold' should be 'holding'.

'“Yea, I’m fine.” I said.' - unless she's from medieval times, 'Yea' should probably be 'Yeah'.

'if only you hadn’t had too much to drink you wouldn’t have been drunk and therefore wouldn’t have crashed the car into a tree' - he seems to be spelling this out a little too logically. The tone just doesn't work. I'd suggest: 'If you hadn't been so drunk, perhaps you wouldn't have crashed your car right into a tree'. The part about the 'little friends' worked excellently though.

'this Tristan dude' - when did we find out this was his name?

'Damnit.' - this might just be regional but I've always spelled that as either 'Dammit' or 'Damn it'.

'I know you’re moves from our previous encounter' - 'you're' should be 'your'.

'locked me on here' - 'on' should be 'in'.

There is something you do quite often with speech which is put ." he said. If there is a full stop, then there needs to be a capital letter afterwards. In this case, it should just have been a comma anyway because 'said' is a speech verb. Had it been something like: yes." she nodded, that is when the 'she' would have been 'She' because nod is not a speech verb.

Okay, plot stuff. Your plot is very entertaining and I can tell there's a lot more depth than what we have witnessed so far. Your characterisation is very bold and strong, though sometimes it might be nice to slip in some weaknesses to your character. Setting is excellent. I could picture everything clearly.

My criticism is that the flow isn't always quite on. Sometimes it's like you're explaining the plan for a story rather than taking us through one. Your language is just a bit too well structured at times and it makes the whole thing seem a lot calmer than the subject matter would suggested.

Well done! :D




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Wed Aug 27, 2014 11:58 pm
Shiverfeather wrote a review...



Awesome. I'm really interested to find out what will happen next. You actually made evil vampires-congradulation that usually doesn't happen anymore. Its really mysterious and well written. You created the right amount of suspense and didn't give away too much or too little infomation. Jessica seems to be a good character and will hopefully prove to be as strong a female lead as you are promising-since so many time people promise that and make the character super weak in like two chapters-she also appears human, like faulted and stuff which is rare.





Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known.
— Chuck Palahniuk