Hey there! Scarlet here, as you know It's review day.
You know what that means, time to review!
Nitpicks first...
- Now I see this a lot, you lack In punctuation. It may be different with lyrics but I still believe you should use punctuation.
She said “Mama” and I almost cried
- I feel this part of the song throws off the flow a little bit. Go over this and read it, I may be mistaken but I didn't have a rhythm or beat to go along with so It was difficult.
And he will no loner be alone
- Loner? Did you mean 'no longer?'
Like so;
And he will no longer be alone
Other than that, I loved these lyrics.
It really shows the dark-side of the USA, It was sad and brought out a lot of emotion. I want to join the army, (despite my family warning me not too) and this is what I have to look forward too.
It's a little scary, despite that, this was a beautiful and well thought out piece of art and I love it.
Sincerely, Scarlet; Member of #0000BF ">Team Aqua!
clubs/1983 - #0000FF ">Team Aqua Headquarters
Points: 2109
Reviews: 130
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