Young Writers Society

Hello JayeCShore. I'm Dillbert and there is a review I currently am writing for this poem. This was a great poem! I mean, it was short but it packed emotion. Though it was only four lines, it felt like an absolute epic! The form of the poem was great. It had symmetry but yet it didn't, do you understand? You sure know how to make a great poem. I hope to be reading from you again.
Dillbert, out

I like this kind of poetry. It has few words but can convey something much bigger than that. Just like what RavenHawk said, this poem doesn't have to be about stage performance only, but it could also be about the bigger picture; real life. It could also mean that in real life besides doing the best we can, we also have to be remember the people around us and be aware and not ignorant etc.

I also think that this poem is lacking something. The concept was great but I think the choice of words were a bit off since when I read it out loud I didn't quite get the flow. Maybe you should stare at the last two lines and then read it all again and think of some words or synonyms that could replace some of them. But the concept is great, I really loved that.

Overall it was great. And I hope this review helps

This is exactly how a person feels before a show. I'm just saying that because I know how it feels when you can barely catch a breath before it and you're aware how many pairs of eyes stare at you at the moment you begin to play (in my case it's a guitar). This was a nice piece of poetry and the feeling is explained as shortly as possible. I hope to read more from you, keep writing!

~Bard

RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
Hey, JC! I super duper love this quite a lot, but before I can tell you why I have to, like, actually give you a criticism or something even though there's so little to criticize!
If I had to pick one thing- as in, if you held a machete to my neck and told me to find the world's tiniest mistake in your poem- it would probably be the word "play."
What do you mean, "play"? When I first read it, I thought you meant the sports "play."
Do you mean play as in an instrument? That might be it but I was hoping you meant a more theatre-based approach (I'm biased since I'm a theatre geek but still.) I think "play," in and of itself is an ambiguous word and maybe you could change it and maybe you couldn't. It's your poem, after all, and I love basically every other thing about it anyway so you're doing something right.

Compliments!
I don't know how familiar you are with performing arts, but you summed it up in five lines. I don't know the significance of the spacing and the indentation between the lines but I think of it as an actor/actress who is offstage slowly coming to center stage through the words. Even if that wasn't your intention, I love it!
This sounds like something that would go on an inspirational poster and I mean that in the best way possible. It's simple and truthful and beautiful and you've done a good job!
I'll give your nice little ditty a solid, wonderful eight stars out of ten. Great job, JC!