Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well...this is just one of those stories that make you go "Awww" and well that's it...its just such a cute and wholesome little story of two young children just having a fun day out in the lake.

Anyway let's get right to it,

One nice summer day I went to lake. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" "We are not there yet, Katya" said Mom.

Then we were finally there! "Hi Katya I really missed you so much." I said. "Me to" said Katia. There was snake close to lake said Katia.

"Maybe it can't swim." I said. When me and Katia went into the water I learned how to do a underwater handstand. Then we rode the water morcilyee it could float. It went fast!

Then I wanted to make a sandcastle. So we needed rocks, water, sand, and some shovels and pails.

Then I asked "Can we fly our kite". No later" said mom. "O.K." I said.


Then we had a little sand castle. Later on it was bigger but Katia had to stay in the tent.


Then it was lunch time. Everything was yummy. Then I said time to fly my kite.

I tried to make it fly but the kite couldn't fly. So I guessed that we sould do it at the park.


Then me and Katia prented to drink tea but we didn't. Then I dressed up. After that we saw the snake swim in the lake. I was so surpized! Then me and Katya collected seashells.

We put them in my brothers pockect. Then. I had to say bye! Bye! Katia I said. Bye said Katia. Then we left home.

Don't think I'm weird but I love this little story! I'm sure you know of the grammatical errors and left them cause you didn't want to change it, so I won't touch on that. But, just so you know, this made me smile. It's super cute, carefree, and beautiful. I'm still smiling.

Bless 3rd grade 'you'.

You know, this perfectly captures the mind of a third grader. Carefree, youthful, naive, and mischievous.

I know you wrote this as a young kid so I won't get on your case. This is partly because I feel like there's nothing to change about it (it is how it is.). It's also because my grammar was probably worse at that age.

Hm, I don't know why, but I feel nostalgic now.

What a pleasant read. I wish I still had all of my stories from when i was younger, not that I would want to post any of those disasters...

I will say, however, that you do write better than I did back in 3rd Grade. My teacher was always on my ass about it. She'd compare me to the other kids, too... she liked to play favorites. Looking back, she was a grouch.

Anyway, again, pleasant read. I thought it was pretty cute.

I won't nit-pick since the other reviewers have already done so.

Keep writing.

Hello, Katya.
Kanome here with a review.

First of all, this story is so freaking cute. This is actually pretty good for a story written when you were in third grade. c:

Nitpick time: (Sorry, even though you've written this in third grade, I figured you want to see the mistakes on here...)
Okay, there are some sentences that need commas in between them:

One nice summer day, I went to lake.

Hello!

Raven here for a quick review!

This is so cute! I like what you made! When I was this age I wrote about poverty, and you're writing light happy stuff! No fair! However, this review shall not be all praise and gushing. I shall rip this piece apart!

Nitpicks!

Dialogue Stuff!

Whenever a new person begins talking, start a new paragraph. You have to do that, or else it will look like the same person is talking the whole time. Like this: "I hate watermelons!" Timmy said, glaring at Marc. "But they're are so... good!" Marc shot back. "I still hate them!" "But, I love 'em!" See how that is confusing?

"Me to" said Katia.

Then we rode the water morcilyee it could float.

I was so surpized!

We put them in my brothers pockect.

Then me and Katia prented to drink tea but we didn't.