It is the object that
we've known since we were kids.
One we have used
so many times
to sharpen a pencil
for unlimited creation.
It's the object that
we learned had screws
to hold it together.
We learned to ditch the
colorful plastic item,
just hold onto what's left.
It's the object that
removes a girl's pesky
stubble of hair on their slender legs.
With practice,
perfection in the act
will leave our legs unscratched.
It's the object that,
as we grow older,
we realize it has screws too.
We ditch the plastic,
the handle and grip,
just for what's left.
It's the object that
cut's so many teenage wrists.
Leaving crimson warmth
of fresh blood,
dried in crusts against stainless steel.
Not so stainless anymore.
It only causes pain.
It's the object that
lays upon so many death beds
on the night of suicide.
It slides across the wrist
one last time that night,
ready to be found in the morning.
Wow!!! This is a great poem and I really enjoyed reading this. I really enjoyed the transition from childhood with a blade, to the danger it causes through self-harm. This subject is often rejected, because its considered "emo". But you really had me in tears. I think many people can relate to this poem. Everything that you put in the poem is so true. Anyway thanks for writing this. And keep writing!!!!
This has a lot of potential and I actually enjoyed reading this (despite the somber tone). I like how the poem progresses from an innocent child to the deathly potential that a razor has. The wording, for example "With practice, perfection in the act, will leave our legs unscratched." didn't just show the good purposes of a razor, but the near rebirth of skin or scars or sin as well. People treat the razor as though it will take away the things they don't desire, like hair or mental pain. One spelling error caught my eye in the second to last stanza. It should read "cuts so many teenage wrists" instead of "cut's". Have a nice day! 
Hey, rhia here to review!
Kay, first and foremost, I'm going to nitpick
One we have used
so many times
to sharpen an pencil
for unlimited creation.
Should be sharpen *a pencil, not an.
It's the object that
removes a girls pesky
stubble of hair on their slender legs.
girls should be *girl's
Leaving blood that is red
upon it's stainless steal.
steal is spelled *steel, when speaking of the metal. Also, we all know that blood is red, why not try to use more creative language to describe the blood on the silver, shiny metal. Remember, poetry should show, not tell.
I'm not really a fan of this type of poetry, so I don't want to criticize on content, but I think it seems to be pretty well written. Just maybe try to work in more imagery, descriptors. Be adventurous, use analogies and metaphors, get into it!
Good job, keep it up!
This is really heart-wrenching. I like the way it assesses all of the different literal uses of a razor blade and then gradually we discover it's darkest use towards the end. It's a very sensitive topic - self-harm - and something that is really fascinating to write about. You've captured a lot of genuine pain in this - and when I read it, I feel it.
Now for the nitpicky bits:
First verse: Instead of using the word "kids", which is slightly colloquial, I think 'young' might sound a little better - and then to sharpen "our" pencils rather than sharpen "a" pencil - just makes it a little more personal, for example...
It is the object that
we've known since we were young.
One we have used
so many times
to sharpen our pencils
for unlimited creation.
Second verse: Putting "to have" after "we learned had" kind of adds a metaphorical meaning. It almost parallels the "you've got a screw loose" saying. Also, "neglect" instead of ditch (less colloquial), and "grew" instead of "learned", as it sounds more of a gradual process and avoids the repetition of "learned". Also, the removal of the word "item", as it kinda of ruins the flow of poetic and intriguing language - then an "and" before "just hold onto what's left", as to me it sounds a little better. Example:
It's the object that
we learned had to have screws
to hold it together.
We grew to neglect the
colorful plastic,
and just hold onto what's left.
I really love the third verse! The "perfection in the act will leave our legs unscratched" part is amazing. Truly.
The fourth verse is really confusing to me as it's simply reiterating what was said in the second - unless of course this was intended, as a kind of circular thing?
Fifth verse: Instead of using "teenage", I think you should use something a little more open than that as many people of different age groups self harm - I put "innocent" but that was just an idea.
It's the object that
cut's so many innocent wrists.
Leaving blood that is red
upon it's stainless steal.
Not so stainless anymore.
It only causes pain
You've really captured the disturbed nature of self harm in this poem, and the idea of it starting about childhood and then gradually darkening is very strong. If you're looking for some ideas and love poetry like this, then Sylvia Plath's work is extremely haunting as she herself faced similiar issues. Just an idea.
Really enjoyed reading this
Olivia
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