Young Writers Society

Hello, Subtle here to review on review day! So, first off. Great title, is a killer to rein readers in. I was really attracted by the format of this poem as well, as you divided them into small stanzas with short sentences that flowed nicely. I really liked how you kept the sentences short here, because it really gave that short and ominous rhythm this poem needed. I don't have any nitpick to be honest, as for the content is very well done.

So, great poem! Keep it up!

-S.s

Very good poem, I like that its a free verse. Although your stanzas aren't well structured (as in the two-line to four-line random pattern), the flow sounded ok. Wonderful original work here. The imagery is alarmingly good(*they're going to hang me!*feeling :O). I felt the dreadful excitement as the crowds cheered on the public hanging. This is a wonderful poem, thank you for sharing it with all of us. Have a great day.

I enjoyed this poem. I liked how it has repetition and a continuing theme of fate. It created an awe inspiring picture of a execution, and had a beautiful flow to it. It is also a very open ended poem, and leaves a lot of room to I questions. Like what did this person do? How bad was it? And so on.
The repeated phrase "my fate has come" builds anticipation and suspense as the inevitable draws closer. I enjoyed that.
One warning though, is to not to use too much repetition, because it can become bore some to read and can take away from the imagery and feel to the poem. To avoid it, just try using synonyms, or possibly trying to describe another emotion to feeling, so as to not become repetitive.
One more concern is the lines "I walked the path" and "I walk the path". It is a bit confusing stating that you have already done something and then saying you are currently doing it. They're might be a different way to word the second one, or you could change the first line to the present tense, so as to tie the two phrases together. This change can effectively make the poem flow a bit smoother, as well as go along with the idea of repetition that you have in the work.
All around good job! Very interesting to see the psyche of a person sentenced to die and their perspective. Loved the poem!

Happy Review Day!

This is very, very well done! The short phrases of each line really emphasize the tense atmosphere of one awaiting their hanging, and made me think of each footstep closer, up the path and the steps of those looming, wooden gallows.

The tone, as I'd expect, seems anxious yet somewhat resigned; the narrator wants to get every last notion out onto the page before their time here ends for good, and there's really nothing they can do to prolong it. It was especially eerie to have the narration go right til the convict's very last conscious thought.

As a reader, I also got to feel that ominous, sinking-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach sense of foreboding and suspense, and I could practically feel myself being marched in the procession. It's very emotionally charged.

I'll admit I can be pretty faint of heart and stomach when it comes to reading about death and killing, but this was such a fascinating read. People sentenced to death usually don't get to write about their final experiences, but someone of a more fortunate fate and agile imagination such as yourself is able to convey what they could very well have been thinking in those last few seconds of life.

Hey there! Happy Review Day!
I just wanted you to know that your title was great. Short, simple, and when I noticed it I had to read this poem to find out what it was. Maybe I just have a morbid streak that gets stuck on words like "noose".

But anyway, I was not disappointed. You definitely had a touch of morbid and a simple yet gripping poem. I love all of the sound words you use and the rhythm of this poem.
"The beating drum
The pumping heart
Soon to slow"
In this stanza just reading beating drum and pumping heart make the reader's heart speed up and the lines match the rhythm of a drum, but the last line doesn't, which is perfect for what it's saying.

"The timbers
Beneath my feet
Tremble, tremble
With stamping feet"
I also love that stanza. So beautifully written.

I didn't like the repetition of "fate" though. It felt sort of out of place, like you meant to do more with it and then forgot or something. I like the first stanza, those two lines fit well and are a nice introduction to the poem, but then when you repeat those two lines later on it just seemed a little bit out of place. And I like the comparison of fate being tied, but that line didn't fit with the rhythm of the rest of the lines, so unless you had some reason for breaking the flow then I'd suggest playing with that part a little bit more to make it fit together more.

"The rope is strong
Around my neck"
Also, I bet you could find a more unique way to write these two lines. This way seems a little bit original and obvious. Of course there's a strong rope around his neck, he's being hung! Try to find a more unique way to say this.

Of course, all of these are suggestions, and you do have a beautiful (if slightly terrifying) poem already. I hope this helps, let me know if you have any questions or comments. Keep Writing!

Hey, so to start off, I have to say I really loved the way everything flowed so smoothly and the rhyming didn't sound choppy. I think you did I great job smoothing everything out and this a really neat poem. I also loved the imagery you used to describe everything while still keeping it smooth.

Something you could work on though, is even though most of the poem is super flowing, there are parts that are choppy and could be smoothed out. You have to be careful about those with this kind of poetry because it's obvious to the reader when it's happening since everything else flows so well. An example would be in the beginning of the sixth stanza, I had to reread a few times because it didn't flow as well as the rest of the poem.

All in all, I think you're a great writer with a great sense of rhythem