Young Writers Society

This is written from one characters' point of view based on the novella I wrote Stealing Grace.

Grace by Jared

She is so beautiful,
I can’t stand to stray.
I can’t leave her alone,
I want her to be mine today.

She’s been my neighbor,
For many long years.
We go to school together,
But I see my worst fear.

Greg is the jealous type,
And he is so rude.
How do I steal Grace?
I should be her “dude”.

I’m not the stalker type,
Oh no I’m surely not.
We’ve classes together now,
I need to make a plot.

I know what I’ll do,
To steal my beloved Grace.
I’ll write her romantic letters,
And steal her at a slow pace.

Secret admirer letters,
That will be the key!
The mystery of it all is sexy,
And forever mine, she’ll be.

I need to get rid of Greg,
But how do I succeed?
First, I’ll steal her love,
Then from there I’ll proceed.

Next will be my presence,
I’ll be there unexpectedly.
I’ll care for her and show it,
I love her so tremendously.

Once Greg is out of the picture,
It will be time to make my move.
I’ll pick her up in the a.m. before school,
And to see the sunset we’ll cruise.

I need to reveal myself,
But when should I show?
I’ll do it at the fall dance,
Then to me, her love she’ll throw.

Hm. Now I'm going to go read the novella! I'm puzzled whether I like this or not- I'm sort of on the bubble. Let's see how this plays out.

Bold= optional Italicized= not as much

kathy45662 wrote:Grace by Jared

She is so beautiful,
I can’t stand to stray.
I can’t leave her alone,
I want her to be mine, today.!, not .

She’s been my neighbor,
For many long years.
We go to school together,
But I see my worst fear.

Greg is the jealous type,
And he is so rude.
How do I steal Grace?
I should be her “dude”.

I’m not the stalker type,
Oh no, I’m surely not.
We’ve classes together now,
No I need to make a plot.

I know what I’ll do,
To steal my beloved Grace.
I’ll write her romantic letters,
And steal her, at a slow pace.

Secret admirer letters,
That will be the key!
The mystery of it all is sexy,
And forever mine, she’ll be.

I need to get rid of Greg,
But how do I succeed?
First, I’ll steal her love,
Then from there I’ll proceed.

Next will be my presence,
I’ll be there unexpectedly.
I’ll care for her and show it,
I love her so tremendously. The 'so' seems a tad awkward. maybe remove it?

Once Greg is out of the picture,
It will be time to make my move.
I’ll pick her up in the a.m.A.M before school,
And to see the sunset we’ll cruise.

What confuses me is that you haven't said anything about removing Greg. How, exactly, do you plan to do that? You've only stole Grace's heart, but not removed Greg's.

I need to reveal myself,
But when should I show?
I’ll do it at the fall dance,
Then to me, her love she’ll throw. Real awkward sentence there. Try 'and from there, out love will grow' or something

Things I like:
-The actual poem
-the topic
-the genuine adoration I can feel
-the emotion

Things that were okay:
-grammar


Things that weren't so hot:
-some confusion
-didn't know what the story was about



This was very good. I like the emotion I can feel thoroughly and the adoration I can sense. Off to the novella!


~MilkNCookies

This was cool...sorta...it was a little akward at times. But now i wanna read the novella!!

Greg is the jealous type,
And he is so rude.
How do I steal Grace?
I should be her “dude”.

I have to say that is the best line in the whole poem!! I had to laugh. Well that is all i will say on this topic, onto the novella!