The Unnoticed
Dove Redmond opened the door and held it, as he usually did for his classmates when he reached the room first. Ben and his friends walked by without a word, James nodded to him, and the girls all walked by without so much as a glance in his direction. That was fine; no one ever thanked him anyway.
Math class was the same every day. He raised his hand to answer questions that no one understood, the other students dismissed him as a nerd, and Mr. Spear dismissed him as just someone who made it so he didn’t have to explain himself. Dove scored the highest on the pop quiz, as usual, but Mr. Spear was unimpressed, as usual.
After math class, it was lunchtime. Dove spent his usual ten minutes in line, picked out the hot lunch of the day, and paid Mable with his usual two-dollar tip. She took it and handed him his plate.
Once he'd finished eating, Dove stayed behind to help the two janitors clean up. He had a twenty-minute gap between then and his next class. He wiped down the tables while they swept the floors. The janitors nodded to him, and he left.
The rest of the school day was still more of the same. Sailing practice after school was the same. When he went home and did his chores it was the same. Dove was a perfect proof of the proverb “good deeds go unnoticed.”
“Mom, why doesn’t anybody ever notice the good deeds I do for them?” Dove asked his mother that evening.
“What are you talking about?” She asked. “Your father and I always notice the things you do.”
“Mom, tonight I cleaned the whole kitchen, and you didn’t say a word.”
Dove’s mother furrowed her eyebrows and avoided his gaze. “Well, maybe that’s not the best example. But I promise, we do notice the things you do.”
Dove suspected she was just throwing him a bluff, but he didn’t care at this point. “Okay,” he agreed halfheartedly. It had been a long day, and he just wanted to get some sleep.
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The next day at school, Dove asked Carter, a girl in his homeroom who he was interested in, the same question. “Carter, why doesn’t anybody notice the things I do around school?”
“What kinds of things do you do?” Carter asked.
“I always open the door for everyone, I pass out all the tests in math class, I pick up all the trash in homeroom, and I brought in our class pet,” Dove listed.
“You do all those things?”
Dove nodded. “And you probably didn’t even notice until I just pointed it out.”
“Oh, I’m sure some people notice you,” she said.
Dove sighed. He made a silent promise that he would do enough good things to get noticed.
The week hadn’t been very kind to him so far. Dove had emptied out all the trash cans in every classroom he went to, he had fixed several jammed locker doors, he had organized some books in the library (everyone absolutely hated the previous state of the library), and still, no one had seemed to take it for anything more than a given.
Today, Dove was determined to find something he could do to get noticed. He went through homeroom, the first three class periods, and lunch without any ideas. He was leaving the cafeteria, when he heard a noise around a corner of the stone building. He took a glance and saw Carter arguing with her boyfriend.
They were very animated, and her boyfriend was using his hands more with every sentence, as well as stretching himself up to his full stature. Carter crossed her arms and planted her feet, standing her ground. She said something Dove couldn’t hear. Evidently, it was too much for her boyfriend, because he pushed her against the wall and put a hand on her neck.
Dove's stomach immediately clenched up, and he found himself gripping the wall white-knuckle tight. He knew Carter wasn't interested in him, but he couldn't take seeing her attacked like this. Against his better judgment, he decided to intervene. then took a running leap at him. He managed to get the boy’s attention, but that was where his advantage ended. The boy was a senior, and was much stronger than Dove or Carter, who were both juniors. In seconds, the boy overpowered Dove and put him in a chokehold.
“You want to get involved here?” He yelled at Dove, who couldn’t respond from the force on his neck. His eyes widened with fear, and the realization of his decision. As the older boy shook him, he managed to catch a glimpse of Carter, who started to step forward, but hesitated. Her face was painted over with distress and fearful worry.
“You want to get involved?" The boy repeated. "Well here, get involved with this!” The senior constricted his arms together with powerful force, crushing Dove’s trachea and injuring his spinal cord.
The boy ran after Dove slumped to the ground. Carter, who had been watching in shock, took action and knelt down at Dove’s side. Dove was struggling to keep his eyes focused as his vision started to waver. Each breath took more effort to inhale, and every exhale felt like fire in his chest. By this time, he had accepted that he would more than likely be dead in a minute or so.
“Dove? Dove?” Cater said, tapping his shoulder.
“I’m . . . I’m going to die here,” he said, coughing.
“No! No you’re not! I’ll call an ambulance!” Carter reached for her cell phone, her voice and jerky hand motions filled with panic.
“Call them if you want. They can’t help me.”
“Dove! Don’t die on me!” Carter said, tears setting in on her voice.
“I’m dying . . . and like always . . . no one noticed . . . I wish I was never born,” Dove sputtered out. And everything went black.
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Dove woke up in the middle of a wheat field. Nothing looked out of place, except that his clothes were now all gray. He looked around, and saw golden wheat stalks blowing in the wind. Off in one direction, there was a large red barn, and in another, there appeared to be a few houses dotting a grassy hill. Dove thought recognized this place; it look a lot like the field he passed every morning on the way to school. But something felt different about it, like he had never been here before.
“What happened?” Dove said out loud. He noticed that his neck didn’t at all hurt like it should have. Was he dead?
“You aren’t dead,” said a man’s voice from behind him. Dove stood up to see a man in a light gray suit standing behind him. “You just have never been born.”
“What? That’s crazy, I’m here, aren’t I?” Dove asked.
“Well, yes, but Dove Redmond was never born. You are just a separate entity,” the man said.
“How’d this happen?” Dove asked.
“With your last breath, you wished you were never born. So my boss, seeing that you maybe deserved a wish, decided to fulfill your request, prior to your entrance into the afterlife,” the man said. “Oh, where are my manners? My name is Michael.” He held out his hand to shake with a smile.
Dove eyed the man suspiciously for a moment, but shook his hand. Michael’s skin felt warm to the touch. “So, why did you grant my wish?”
“You wanted to see what the world would be like if you were never born. I am your guide to the world without you,” Michael explained.
“Are you the archangel Michael?” Dove asked.
“You might say I’m an angel. I’ve been called such before. But right now, I am simply your guide to this world.”
Dove stod there a moment, simply staring at Michael. He'd never been very religious, but he'd always heard stories about angels. His mom was a firm believer of their powers, and it appeared as if she wasn't wrong.
"How do I know you're really an angel?" Dove questioned him. "Prove it to me."
Michael rolled his eyes, but with good-humor, almost as if he was used to this. "You seem a little irritated," Michael observed with a tilt of his head. "I'd be willing to bet that athlete's foot has been acting up lately. What's it been? A week now?"
"How'd you know that?" Dove asked, taking a step back. He had been irritated by the athlete's foot fungus that had been plaguing him for the past week, but he didn't even tell his parents about it.
"Well, there's a lot of ways, but you'll have to trust me when I say it's because I'm a higher being."
“Well . . . okay then," Dove accepted, still wrapping his mind around what he'd just heard. But he refocused to the matter of him not being born. "Ha, now I bet everything won’t be as nice without me,” Dove said. “Can you take me to my parents? Or rather, Joseph and Elizabeth Redmond?”
Michael reached into his suit pocket and withdrew a small mace. He waved it around in his hand, and suddenly, they were in Dove’s house. Or, what was his house. Now it was empty, and every surface was gathering dust. There were none of his mother’s signature picture frames on the mantle of the fireplace, and his father’s favorite leather armchair wasn’t in front of the cabinet, which looked quite lonely without the large SONY television that should have been there.
“Where are my parents?” Dove asked.
“Oh, they must have just moved the last box yesterday,” Michael said.
“Last box? Show me to them please!”
Michael waved his mace again, and they were suddenly standing in the massive vestibule of a large house. The banisters of the staircase were polished oak wood. The floor was tiled with brand new marble, and the large white double doors were surrounded by a beautiful stained glass mosaic.
“This is where my parents live?” Dove asked.
“Yes sir,” Michael said. “Looks like they’re doing well.”
“Is this because they don’t have to spend as much money on a child?”
“Not exactly.”
“What do you-?” Dove started to ask, but he then saw his father enter the vestibule from a side door, and his mother step rapidly down the staircase to greet him.
Joseph Redmond hugged his wife tightly. “Liz, great news! Our daughter’s latest book just made the bestseller’s list!” He said excitedly.
“Oh my! That is great news! Wow, Jessica has done so well in the past few months,” Elizabeth Redmond said.
Dove watched his parents walk back up the staircase and stop to look at a large framed picture on the wall. It was a portrait of a girl, about Dove’s age, with short brown hair, a thin figure, and a silver chain around her neck. Dove took this to be Jessica. He looked at the ground; he felt betrayed and hurt that his parents were doing so well without him, but he wouldn’t show it to Michael.
“Can they see us or hear us?” Dove asked.
“No." Michael shook his head.
“They have a daughter?”
“Yes. The reason you weren’t born is because your parents waited a few more months before trying to have a child. The egg in your mother’s body that would have become you was discharged. They instead had a daughter. And she was a very bright girl, going on to become a bestselling author.”
Dove looked down at his gray shoes. “So they’re doing better without me . . .” he said, more to himself than the angel.
Michael patted Dove on the back. “If it’s any consolation, Jessica is on tours often, so they don’t see her much.”
Dove looked up. “Can you take me to my school?”
Michael nodded and waved his mace. They were now in Dove’s homeroom. The school day had just begun, and several of the students were gathering around a small cage on a windowsill. In the cage was a small rabbit.
“Don’t tell me, someone brought that in as a class pet?” Dove asked.
“Indeed. Looks like it’s more popular than the bird you used to have.” Michael said.
The homeroom teacher read off the daily announcements, then dismissed the class. A boy who Dove didn’t remember held the door, and everyone gave him a nod and a “thanks” as they exited.
“Hey! I used to do that, and no one thanked me for it!” Dove again felt a pang of anger and jealousy stab in his stomach.
“Who knows? Maybe he just has a better attitude. Good moods are contagious, you know.”
Everyone thanked the new boy, with the exception Carter. As she was walking out, the boy smiled and nodded to her, but she just walked by him. He shrugged and walked out as well.
“It would appear that Carter doesn’t seem to like him.” Michael observed.
“Not much consolation.”
“Would you like to go see your math teacher?” Michael asked.
Dove gave an exasperated sigh. “Sure, why not?”
Michael waved his mace and brought them to the math class. The whole class was laughing, including Mr. Spear. “Okay, okay, that was a very clever joke, Rob, but don’t do it again,” Mr. Spear said.
“Sorry, Mr. Spear, but it was just too good to pass up,” The boy called Rob said. Dove recognized him as the new boy.
“Even Mr. Spear likes him!” Dove said to himself. “Who is this new guy anyway?” He asked Michael.
“My boss said that even if we granted your wish, we needed someone to fill the gap and perform all of the worldly necessary things you did,” Michael explained. “So we created Robert here to take your place.”
“Well, maybe it’s better that way. His good deeds are noticed.”
Michael glanced over the kids in the class. “Is there anything else you would like to see?”
Dove thought for a moment. “May I see the janitors in the cafeteria?”
With a wave of his mace, Michael brought them to the cafeteria. The two janitors were on their break, sitting at a table and laughing over their coffee. “Man, it sure is great that Rob kid helped us out the other day,” one of them said.
“I’ll say! When Mr. Casey saw how well the clean-up was done, he was ecstatic!” The other said. He raised his coffee mug and clinked it against his partner’s. “To Rob!” They both bellowed jovially.
Dove sighed. “Even these guys don’t miss me!” All these visits had done was confirm his fears. He had had enough. “Can you take me back to the wheat field?” Dove asked.
Michael waved his mace, and Dove was back in the wheat field. Michael was not with him. That was fine; Dove wanted to be alone.
“Well fancy that,” he said out loud. “I made everyone’s lives better by wishing I was never born.”
Dove sat in silence for a few minutes. The he heard sniffling. He looked around, and noticed a person walking in his direction. After they took a few steps, he saw that it was Carter. She was crying.
She sat down right next to him. “Why did Dove have to go?” she wailed. “Why’d he have to wish he was never born? I always noticed him . . .”
Carter remembered him! She noticed he was gone! “Carter! Carter! I’m right here!” He waved his hands in the air to emphasize his point.
Carter rested her head on her knees. She clearly didn’t hear him. Dove realized that she couldn’t hear or see him, like his parents.
“He gave his life just to help me, and now it’s like he never had a life to give.” Carter’s eyes were tearing up again as she spoke.
It was enraging Dove that he couldn’t speak to her, so he called out for Michael. “Michael! Come help me please! I need you!”
Michael floated down from the gray clouds forming overhead to stand before Dove. “What is it?” The angel asked.
“I need you to make it so that I can talk to Carter.”
“I’m afraid that that is beyond my authority. My boss does not allow me to bridge interactions between the afterlife souls and the earth life people. Only he and the other angels may use that power.”
Dove gritted his teeth angrily. No one even cared or noticed that he was gone because nobody noticed when he was there. Now there was a person who remembered him, and Michael wouldn’t even let him talk to her! “She remembers me! She noticed me! Let me talk to her! I saved her life!” Dove commanded more forcefully.
“Dove, you did not save her life.”
“What are you talking about? Her boyfriend was attacking her. I drove him off! I was dying when I made my wish! I gave my life for her!”
“Dove, Carter was going to live, even if you hadn’t gotten involved. Your near-death was pointless.” Michael’s face was grim as he broke the news.
Dove clenched his fists and angrily lunged at Michael. He caught the angel off guard and managed to pull the mace from his hand. He waved it, and a cage formed around Michael, trapping him.
Dove stared at the object in his hand. All the possibilities unfolded vividly in his head. He realized that with it, he could undo the wish he’d made. He could make it so that he’d never wished himself away from the world. He could make it so that there would be no need for Rob to fill his place. He could make it so that all his classmates would notice him. He could make it so that Mr. Spear would notice him. His parents, his peers, his superiors, even the janitors. He could make all those people notice him for his good deeds.
He could probably also make it so that he’d won that fight with Carter’s boyfriend. He could make it so that he’d saved her, and that everyone knew about it. He could make it so that he would be a hero, and everyone would notice him for his good deeds. All he had to do was wave the mace and will it to happen.
But something stopped him from doing it. He felt an uncomfortable bubbling in his stomach, like water coming to a boil. Dove thought again. He thought about everything he’d seen in the past few hours. He couldn’t do that to his parents, to his classmates, to Mr. Spear, to the janitors, or even to this boy Rob, who he didn’t even know.
“I made everyone’s life better,” Dove told himself. “If I bring myself back, I’d be taking that away from everyone. I can’t do that, even if it means I don’t get to live anymore.” He turned and waved the mace at Michael’s cage. It disappeared, and Michael stood up.
Dove handed the mace back to the angel and bowed his head shamefully. “I’m sorry, sir. I was going to put myself in the world again. But I’ve thought better of it, and you can take me to the afterlife.”
Michael looked down on Dove, raised his mace, and tapped Dove on the shoulder. When nothing happened, Dove looked up. The angel was smiling. “Well done, my boy.”
“What?” Dove asked. “What have I done?” Michael must have seen the confusion on his face, because he laughed before answering.
“You wished yourself out of the world, because you saw that nobody noticed your good deeds. But you failed to realize something, until now.”
“What is it?”
“You don’t do good deeds to be noticed, you do them because they simply are the right thing to do,” Michael said. “And by relieving yourself of your life to improve the lives of everyone you knew, even though you had a chance to live again, you did the greatest good you could have done.” Michael smiled again at him with a fatherly look. “For that, my boss has allowed me to grant you another wish.”
Dove didn’t even have to think. He knew exactly what he wanted. “I want you to give my wish to Carter,” he said with finality.
Michael nodded. “So be it.” He stepped over to where Carter sat crying and tapped her on the shoulder. “Carter?” He whispered.
She looked up at him, her pretty green eyes red from crying. “What?” Her voice was broken as she spoke.
“I am Michael, and I have a message from Dove Redmond.”
Instantly, Carter perked up. She stood to meet Michael’s eye. “What is it?”
“He has been granted a wish, and he would like you to have it. You may wish for anything you want.”
Carter whispered in Michael’s ear, and he smiled and nodded. “As you wish, dear.” He said, and waved his mace.
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Dove coughed and opened his eyes. When they adjusted to the light, he could see Carter’s face, looking down at him. He noticed that his neck didn’t hurt, and he didn’t feel any pain at all.
He sat up, and saw that he was just where he was when Carter’s boyfriend had dropped him. “What happened?” Dove asked.
“You knocked John off of me and he took off,” Carter said. “He pushed you against the wall and you got knocked out for a few minutes.”
“You brought me back,” Dove realized. He knew that she would understand.
Carter laughed. “Yes, I wished for your wish to be undone,” she agreed. Her lips were parted to reveal her beautiful white smile.
“But why? I improved everyone’s lives when I was gone,” Dove said. He sat up, moved his arms around, and touched himself and the ground around him to make sure it was all really happening. “Why?”
Carter helped him stand up. “They won’t miss what they didn’t know they could have.”
“I was doing more good when I wasn’t born.”
Carter stepped closer to Dove and slipped her hand into his. “Well, you’re doing me the best good that you can, just by being here with me.” She kissed him softly.
Dove looked back at her and smiled. They embraced each other in a tight hug, Carter’s dirty-blond hair falling over his shoulders. Dove knew she was right. The best good deed he could do for her, and it didn’t go unnoticed.
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