Young Writers Society

Author's note: I hope you enjoy, please leave comments.



Generations and generations of the human species are dependent on stories, tales and fables. For thousands upon thousands of years we have not only been influenced and brought up upon stories, but our cultures have thrived upon them too, riding the backbone of narrative and moral meanings. It doesn’t matter whether we look at the story of two times two equalling four, the story of the apple that fell from the tree to simplify the understanding of gravity or the story of the birth of Christ or the teachings of Mohammed, every story gives us something incredible.

Every single piece of our life is grounded on the foundations of a good narrative. We each too have our own, unique stories, nurtured through the years of our lives. We take our own stories for granted; the experiences we gather. Every single mistake we make as human beings is indisputably priceless. Every single lesson we learn is undeniably golden. Every single person we love, like or hate is worth every penny of attention. What we fail to realise through the ups and downs of social norms and irregulars is our own tales, our untold wisdoms and our memories of the wonderful things we’ve seen and forgotten.

Stories are powerful, not only in the world of literature, but in the everyday situations we find ourselves in. One of the most common questions of our small talk is “what have you been up to?” and our response is to tell a story. We imagine the feelings, the characters (our friends or foes if so be it), the plot, the time and the experience we took for it. We compile these amazingly beautiful aspects into a voice of modesty as we tell, very simply so, of what it is we have experienced. The richness of these stories – the bits left untold – are the parts that craft us as human beings. The sound of a best friend’s laugh and your cheery response to smile, the cry of a new born baby sibling and your momentary understanding for incredibly young, new life or simply the taste of the mildly burnt toast you had that morning and your comical ‘note-to-self’ to turn the toaster down a notch.

You see, the ability to tell or write a tale through narrative is glorious, but it’s the things we take from the tales we endure every single day that matter. It is the ability to learn, thrive and live. It is the ability to have something no other species on the planet has. It is the ability to experience a story.

Do me a favour, take a moment out of your day today and think over the truly wondrous stories you’ve had recently. The smaller, more insignificant you believe it to be, the far better. Take a tiny moment and have a read.

Wow! I can't believe I actually read all of that, and I just kept thinking... "Yes! So right...!"
Inspired xxx

I'm glad you thought so

Hi Ben!

I'm glad you linked me to this or else I never would have found it. I am rarely interested in reviewing non-fiction and I must confess I've never really reviewed a non-fiction piece. So here goes.

OVERALL

I'm going to be different and do this "Overall" thing first, unlike others.
I was really impressed with this (Confession #2= I don't think I've ever read anything of yours). It was beautifully written (but not everything is perfect, so I'll get to my "criticisms" a little later) and flowed very well. The subject that you wrote about, though it appears quite simple, can be tiresome and tedious at times [to write about]. Anywho, I found little to critique, but below are merely some suggestions that you may want to take into account.

THE "SUGGESTIONS" or "CRITICISMS"

It doesn’t matter whether we look at the story of two times two equalling four, the story of the apple that fell from the tree to simplify the understanding of gravity or the story of the birth of Christ or the teachings of Mohammed, every story gives us something incredible.

I find the repeated "or" (bold, underlined) ruins the fluidity of this sentence. Doubly, I believe that the italicized phrase should be removed. Reasoning: You're giving examples here and we don't need an overload. Three is like the magic number for examples-- stick with three examples, no less and no more. With the fourth example, the sentence just seems to drag on, but this is merely a suggestion. Perhaps read your sentence aloud the way it currently is and then read it aloud minus the italicized part? I did, and personally, with the removal of "the teachings of Mohammed", it sounded a lot better.

Every single mistake we make as human beings is indisputably priceless. Every single lesson we learn is undeniably golden. Every single person we love, like or hate is worth every penny of attention.

I really liked those sentences. Just sayin'.

We imagine the feelings, the characters (our friends or foes if so be it), the plot, the time and the experience we took for it.

Zero in on the bolded words. This "expression" (if it can be called that) is great...but only in certain ways, places/sentences. When in the parentheses with already a sentence nearing on "long", I'm thinking that this should be removed and replaced with one word, roughly meaning the same thing. I have no idea what that word should be, thus this is obviously a "suggestion".

Take a tiny moment and have a read.

Nice ending. It feels like you took great care in this piece and didn't rush it. It was fantastic.

A pleasure to review this column!

Lavvi

Hullo, Ben! 'Twas lovely talking to you today; it had been awhile since we last spoken. And, I must express my thanks for the request to look at this! This column was lovely to read (so well-written, as always, Ben).

BenFranks wrote:Generations and generations of the human species are dependent on stories, tales and fables.

At the end of the sentence where you say, "dependent on stories, tales, and fables," I found myself thinking: aren't all those generally the same? So, being the person I am, I went and fetched my thesaurus! If you look up 'tales,' you will find that 'fables' is listed as a synonym of it, as is story. Perhaps you included all three in case someone did not know the definition of one (which I can understand)? If that is the case, just let me know, but otherwise, I think just using one of the above terms (stories, tales, or fables) would be efficient enough in itself.

BenFranks wrote:For thousands upon thousands of years we have not only been influenced and brought up upon stories, but our cultures have thrived upon them too, riding the backbone of narrative and moral meanings.

The "thousands upon thousands of years" stood out at me, because in the first line, you did much of the same tactic - you said "generations and generations." Instead, why not just say, "For many thousands of years," or, "For many a millennia..."
I just think the tactic of repetition ("thousands upon thousands," and "generations and generations") is a bit too overstated, if you know what I mean. (:

BenFranks wrote:We each too have our own, unique stories, nurtured through the years of our lives.

The comma after "own" is not needed, Ben, I believe.

BenFranks wrote:Every single mistake we make as human beings is indisputably priceless.

Possibly my favorite line, Ben! Why do I see you being a man people one day will quote?

BenFranks wrote:the cry of a new born baby sibling

"New born" should be one word, so: "newborn."

Overall

Mucho bueno, Ben! That is Spanish for "very good." Usually, when reading magazines or even browsing this lovely website, I will skip right over the non-fiction articles and columns, because it is very hard for a non-fiction item to hold my attention (don't blame me - I love fantasy stories, where I am transported into another universe so undeniably beautiful). Which is why I was facing this request a bit grudgingly, to be honest. However, I was completely surprised with this column of yours, Ben.

Not only did you present a great topic (we're writers - we love stories, so a topic to love this is), you gave a very unique view on it. You say that stories (fables and tales, as well - we mustn't forget how you included three words with nearly the same definition, ha ha!) are a part of everyday life, and, well, I must say, I had never taken notice to that. I suppose I just had never counted my friend asking me how my day had been and my reply to be a wonderful, gob-smacking story like the fiction ones I so furiously write away at. I love how your story so lightly implies that, well, everyone has a story inside of them, and that we are all storytellers - we tell stories every day, after all.

What can I say? I might have to read some more non-fiction, as I truly enjoyed this. I must, however, apologize for the slightly useless review - but the writing was so well presented and written so wonderfully that I have nothing to object against, except the tiny little nitpicks you'll notice above.

Happy Holidays!
~Mizzle

Thanks so much for the reviews Mizzle and Miss Blue, they're very helpful. I shall get around to editing this after I've scratched up a couple more reviews.

Mizzle: You mentioned the stories, tales and fables - you're right - they are fairly along the same lines, but I included all three to drop a little diversity into it so that I wouldn't be repeating the word "stories" continuously and I could jump between using some of its synonyms.

Thanks again, ladies.

Bluntness time.

I liked the content. I didn't like the presentation.

This is something that's been bugging me for a while about your writing, actually, and it isn't limited to just this column, but the voice you write with has always stuck me as forced, as if you're trying too hard to make your pieces appealing and intelligent-sounding. As such, you pad them with unnecessary words and phrases, or use rather unusual syntaxes that feel completely out of place; Lavender pointed out some of them, and Mizzle others.

Having a voice is great and all, but I can't shake the feeling that your voice is choking the content. One's voice should be used to enhance the content, make it more accessible, rather than carry the piece on its own. Every time I read one of your columns I get the feeling that you're falling into the pit trap of prioritizing voice over the clarity and accessibility of content, which is a trend in journalism that has always bugged me; I rarely read journalistic articles or blogs because of this.

The content you have is solid; let it speak for itself.

That said, I'm not saying to weed out all traces of your voice; that would make this column quite dry. Instead, I'm saying that you should scale back a little on the prominence of your voice, revise so that while your voice is still an integral part of the piece, it is not as glaring a feature as it is right now.

For instance, if I were to rewrite the first paragraph in my own voice, it would be like so:

Homo sapiens has relied upon stories for countless generations. Since before recorded history, we have used myths, tales, and fables to pass along cultural morals and practices, information, and history. Regardless of what the story is about or what it contains, each story imparts to every one of us something unique and incredible.

Granted, it's in my own voice, so I'm biased, but I feel it is much more concise and therefore accessible than the original.

Brevity is especially important nowadays with the prominence of the internet in everyday life. There is so much information on the internet that most people have acquired the habit of skimming longer works, and so the longer a piece is, the less likely people are to actually read it. By getting to the point as quickly as possible, you free up more words with which to incorporate your unique voice, and so give the reader further incentive to continue reading rather than skimming over or clicking away.

The purpose of voice in non-fiction is not just self-expression; it is to make the topic more a palatable read; as such it can be the difference between a textbook or research paper and an engagingly informative text. But too much voice in favor of the other elements required of an informative piece can harm that piece as content is sacrificed to make room for that voice, and you tend to veer more on the side of too much voice than too little.

I suggest that you write things out as simply and concisely as possible in the first draft, going back and editing to incorporate voice in successive drafts. At the very least, it will help make you more aware of your own voice; at best, it will help you find the perfect balance between voice and content.

I hope that was helpful.

Hello Ben, this column was brought to my attention and I'll lend an opinion.

Now, I'm a little curious as to why this is a column. Understand, literary columns are practically non-existent today in any commercial way, and are only found in deep literary circles, and often are not widely circulated. This is due to the readership being small and the perceived interest low. Unfortunately, this is a reality of modern society and post-modern literature.

Let me state two things: I hate telling people how to change their writing as it's up to them to be able to do so, and secondly, I agree on Kyrollac's qualms with this. That aside, I don't notice some journalistic standards here that are a necessity. You need concise paragraphs, a very unique narrative voice, and a very easy to confront personality. While it might seem this is the case, I'm not certain you've decided just on who your target audience is. Is this to professors? Teenagers? Children? The general public? There must be consistency in term usage (or a presence of such to indicate you are an expert, even if you aren't) and then uniformity in tone.

I learned very quickly in the field of journalism that one never "essayistic" but is conversational; yes, that means, editors want you to seem fun and welcoming. However, you can't leave out knowledge. And this is the nearly impossible part to please everyone and why you'll find the normal people berating nearly any columnist anywhere on the net. You must be conversational, yet professional, thus friendly, yet an expert; I repeat myself to make the point clear. If this isn't clear enough, consider this. To help get over this hump, your words need power. I would argue, a narrative must hold power to truly be inspirational and compelling. The power to make readers think, to make them act, to make them come back. In this respect, I see you trying to cheer up the reader...but are they coming to read a pick me up column?

You're basically like "Dear Abby" but no one is asking you questions; you're merely dishing out week after week the advice and knowledge which readers choose to go nowhere else but you for. Editors want you to be everything at once, without preaching to the readers. Unless they want you to do that. Always, if nothing else, remember to keep your voice in mind and the perceived readers, otherwise the column aspect is not so clear. Good luck!

Thanks very much for taking the time to comment, it is much help! ;D Cheers for some inside tips n' bits, MeanMrMustard - much appreciated!

Yo! Benny Boy!

Can I call you that....? I'm here to reveiw this as requested, believe it or not. As you're aware, I know nothing about non-fiction stuff, but I will try to get something decent out of this review for you. If not... I apologise. x3

N'awww... I really likd this, Ben. I really love the whole idea of it because it's true, but I hadn't even thought about this whole idea before. This piece made me think about what you were saying, so it's really great that you managed to do that. It's hard to grab my attention, you see. I swear I have ADHD sometimes... Give me coffee, and boy, I'm gone. The grammar in this was great and so was your spelling. Throughout the piece, I didn't notice any awkward sentences either, so yay for that!

I think that I have to agree with what Kyllorac said about the voice. True, I didn't notice it until I read Kyllorac's review, but after I did read it, I did start noticing it in your piece. Me not noticing at first is probably just due to my lack of experience with non-fiction. Basically, I agree with what Kyllorac said about your voice sometimes sounding forced. It's already been explained perfectly to you, so I don't really have much to add. I think that what you tend to do is overthink things when you write them sometimes. Kind of like... You run everything through your head until you get exactly what you want, then write it down... Maybe? I don't know. It's hard to explain.

I think that what I might be getting at is that you could maybe write some things a bit more freely, and try not to think about it too much when you start writing. You can always go back and edit it after, remember. Look, I might be completely wrong with all of this, but some of what I'm syaing may be true. When it comes down to it, I think that Kyll has basically explained it perfectly. I fail at explaining things, as you can tell.

I'll bring something up that could be interesting actually... I haven't read an awful lot of fiction by you, and pieces that I have read are mostly storybooks actually. What I really like about those ficiton pieces is your voice. I think it feels more natural than the voice in this piece, for example. I may be biased because I do prefer fiction to non-fiction, but I do think that you manage to create a more natural voice in fiction pieces. In the end, it does come down to opinion, but I'd suggest maybe almost even writing some non-fiction, but with the mindset of fiction... If htat makes sense. It's just a suggestion, so it's not like you have to do it, but yeah.

Negatives aside, I did genuinely like this, Ben. I really do adore the content of it because it honestly did make me think about what you were saying. If you take into account the reviews you've been given, especially Kyllorac and MrMustard's, and edit this a bit, this could be seriously great. I'm sorry I haven't been much help, Ben. x3

Oh, and I'm sorry for any blaring typos or misspelled words here. I'm on my dad's laptop, due to mine being broken, so there's no spell checker or anything. It's horrible. I can't live without spell checker.

Keep writing,

xoxo Skins

Emmzziee wrote:Wow! I can't believe I actually read all of that, and I just kept thinking... "Yes! So right...!"
Inspired xxx

Me too! Haha, two minds think alike

Hey there Ben Franks!

This was a great piece. It had a lovely voice, and really puts into perspective to all us writers just how much all the classic tales we've grown up on can really inspire us to write further. Every story is a masterpiece in itself that deserves to be appreciated from generation to generation. Even this -- a non-fiction story could inspire a story -- in fact, it re-kindled an old idea I had, because it was so masterfully crafted. It captivated the reader (moi) with the words, and kept their eyes skimming through the lines with the handsome descriptions given to us -- descriptions that were relatable for us human beings to understand. Descriptions that we'd learned in some past ... in some other story.

Just one little nit-pick:

We each too have our own, unique stories, nurtured through the years of our lives.

It sounds a little akward, with the "too". Maybe switch it around a little to:

We each have our own, unique stories too, nurtured through the years of our lives.

Other than that, this was great! -likes-

Amazing, how you changed the perspective of the way we see things. Life is just one big story, waiting to be written. And in order to be written, we must appreciate.

Great work -- Keep writing!

Oh my gosh. Glorious. Just glorious. I now pronounce you, Amazing. There is so much power in these few words -all true- and it astounds me how much that made me think about everything. Every aspect, every detail went flying through my head. Uncontrollably, I caved into the realization that not only do we push aside the little things, we make them seem unimportant, unidentified. But there the things that make us who we are. So, I have yet to say my most important compliment. You have surpassed all levels of greatness that I have stood on, or will ever stand on. And mind you, I'm pretty great. Just F.Y.I. Amazing job. Glorious!