The next few days dragged on at an impossibly slow rate. Mom seemed to show up at the house more often (maybe it was just my imagination), but I avoided her at all costs. We still hadn’t made up since the argument, and I knew if I gave her the opportunity she would start talking about ‘The Move’ again. When she got back from work now, it wasn’t just a “Hi, sweetie,” as she walked through the door, it was a “Hi, sweetie! You might want to start putting all your stuff into boxes-”. That’s as far as she’d ever get before I’d shut the door to my room and shove some headphones over my ears.
On Saturday she just stood outside my door and started talking,
“I know it’s hard,” she said, “But you need to start thinking about saying your goodbyes. I already talked to your father over the phone and we have it all set up. After school’s over, you’ll have only a week or two to prepare. We thought the more time you have to get used to your new home, the better. You’ll really like it over there; it’s calmer, and there are less people. You’ll be next to the ocean, too! I don’t think your father has a boat or anything, but…”
I cranked my music up louder and downed out the rest of her speech. I really tried hard to be cool and offhand about it, but to be honest I couldn’t get what she said out of my mind. Say my goodbyes? Prepare? New home? I still found it impossible to wrap my head around. Later that day though, because I've always been so used to doing whatever mom says, I took a couple of cardboard boxes she set in front of my door and began throwing all my junk into them.
When Monday morning rolled around, I decided to make the announcement to all my friends. Half of them started tearing up and hugging me like I might fall apart, and half of them still seemed confused. It took a whole lot of effort to keep any composure around them, because nowadays I thought more and more about how I wouldn’t be able to hang out with them. I could remember every one of those silly pacts we made back in second grade when we pinky promised to be ‘together forever, no matter what’. The peculiar thing about it now was that I didn’t think they felt so silly anymore.
They gave me a chocolate-milk toast at lunch to celebrate my new home, and I smiled and laughed along with them. I loved my friends so much, and I could see on their faces that they were having a really hard time with this too. In a million years, I never thought that I would be the person to break our group apart. We’ve all been best friends since the kindergarten days, even through our little spars along the way. I couldn’t believe that I was putting an end to all of that.
The last days of school were exhausting. I had to balance time for packing against studying for finals against time to hang with my soon-to-be-distant childhood friends. Without doubt, I did the worst job on my end-of-the-year exams than ever before, couldn’t seem to have fun with my friends because of all the stress, and I guess the only thing I really accomplished was packing. Hooray.
Time flew even faster after that, and before I knew it I was at Lindsay’s house celebrating my last day in New York with the whole group in party hats. It was Joanie’s idea to bring our ancient friendship rings and hold a ceremony, and even though we all thought it was really sappy, we agreed. After cake and ice cream downstairs, we rushed up into Lindsay’s room and began the ceremony. Sam dimmed the lights and Ally went to grab candles. Rachel produced a lighter from her pocket, and we all giggled because we felt so rebellious. Amanda helped Ally place the candles in a circle and Rachel followed with the lighter. I smiled to myself when I remembered the first time we tried this and Rachel’s fingers got burnt and blistered because none of us knew how to use a lighter properly. When all the candles were lit, Sam spoke, her shiny black hair glinting in the pale orange light.
“Is everyone ready?” she asked.
“Yes,” we all replied.
“Does everyone have their rings?” Amanda asked. We all reached into our pockets and pulled them out.
“Yes,” we replied again.
They were the silliest rings you could find; the cheap plastic kind you get from a vending machine in the mall. We all had different colors and shapes; mine was a sort of lavender color in the shape of a chunky rose. When I tried to slip it on my finger, I realized it wouldn’t go past my nail. I looked around and everyone else was having the same problem. We started laughing again and then decided it was best to use our pinkies instead. Still, it took some effort to put it on. I watched how the orange light flickered off the glossy paint of the flower, making it feel just like a real gemstone.
“Does everyone remember what they’re supposed to say?” Lindsay asked, looking around at all of us.
“I think so,” Joanie giggled, a wide grin stretching across her face meeting the ends of her short blonde hair.
The hint of a smirk also found it‘s way onto Lindsay‘s shadowed face, “Then let’s begin!”
We each got down on her tan carpet and sat in a circle in-between the candles, crossing our legs Indian-style. Using our right hands (the hand with our ring on it) we reached out as far as we could towards the candle in the center.
“Uh,” Ally stumbled, “What do we do next? I forgot.”
“We say our vows,” Lindsay answered, “Do you remember yours?”
“Oh, yeah. I think so.”
“Good. Well who wants to begin the rites?”
Joanie raised her free hand high into the air.
“Go for it, Jo-Jo.”
She put her hand down and shifted in her spot, sitting up straighter and taller. Her voice rang out louder and clearer than I expected.
“As a Sister of the Light, I vow to always be nice and respectful!”
As tradition goes, the person to the left is next, and so Ally spoke,
“As a Sister of the Light, I vow to be encouraging and helpful.”
Rachel went, “As a Sister of the Light, I vow to be dependable and responsible!”
Amanda continued the rites in an overly dramatic voice, “As a Sister of the Light, I vow to be loyal and faithful!”
I giggled through my vows, “As a Sister of the Light, I vow to be honest and trustworthy!”
Lindsay rang out, “As a Sister of the Light, I vow to be caring and supportive!”
Sam was next, “I vow to be brave and fearless.”
Joanie interrupted immediately, “You have to say “As a Sister of the Light”!”
Sam let out a puff of air, and I could feel her eyes roll.
“As a Sister of the Light, I vow to be brave and fearless,” she corrected herself.
“And now for the salute,” Lindsay said for anyone who might have forgotten. This was the cheesiest part of the whole ceremony, but I found myself grinning as we did it.
Our outstretched hands balled into fists and we all shouted in unison,
“Sisters of the Light, Unite!!”
And on the word ‘unite’ our fists rocketed up to the sky. We used to play around with the salute when we first had the meetings. Sometimes we would all fall over backwards on ‘unite’ or we would jump up into the air, or we would spin around in circles. I’m glad we finally settled on the simple air-punch because I would’ve felt a lot sillier doing the other options.
“…unite.” came Sam’s voice, a little late. I looked over at her out of the corner of my eye and saw her tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. I wondered if anyone else caught it, but they didn't seem to.
“Can we take the rings off now?” Amanda asked, “It’s biting into my finger.”
“Yeah,” said Rachel, “I’ll go get the lights.”
We each blew out the candle next to us, and then everyone insisted that I blow out the one in the middle since it was the most important. The candles were unscented, but the smell of smoke wafted into my nose and tickled my senses pleasantly.
We had another hour until 11:00p.m., which was when Mom wanted me back home. She said that I had to get some sleep because tomorrow was going to be such a big day. My friends complied and all agreed to go home too, since it wouldn’t be fair for them to stay up late without me. We decided to fill our last few minutes with as many Mad-Lib’s and glitter pictures as we could muster, right up until the moment when we saw the headlights from Mom’s car lighting up the driveway from Lindsay’s window.
I left with hugs and smiles from everyone, and then I turned and skipped out the door. To me, leaving still felt surreal, and tonight seemed just like any other night in which a sleepover was ended prematurely. It felt like tomorrow morning I could call them up and we would hang out again.
When we got back home to our apartment, Mom wished me good night with a yawn and headed straight off to her room. I still had a few things to do, so I quickly brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and pulled on my pajamas; a pair of soft pink, rubber-duckie printed pants and a white T-shirt with a giant red rose in the center. Lastly, I packed up my bathroom essentials and threw them in one of the suitcases.
I flipped off the bathroom light and blindly followed the wall into my room, stumbling over a few more suitcases Mom must’ve put out in the hallway.
The realization of moving didn’t hit me until I stepped into my room and flipped the light switch.
It was bare. Everything that had made this room my own was gone, and now all that remained were empty white walls and a bare hardwood floor. It didn’t even feel like my room anymore. I numbly crawled into bed and yanked the sheets over my body, trying to shield myself from the strangeness of this place. It didn’t work, and I imagine I would’ve gotten more sleep if I had done an all-nighter at Lindsay’s.
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