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Young Writers Society


A Blue Ballpoint Pen



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Sat May 22, 2010 8:16 am
Jenthura says...



A pen can tell a story in many ways.
No, I don’t mean it in the way you think. It is not through the pen that this story is told: it is from the pen.
Take, for instance, this scratch in the handle of this Chinese wolf hair calligraphy brush. This brush is probably two hundred years old; see the lettering on the side? That’s probably the year it was made and the name of the maker…or maybe the writer: sure wish I could read it.
Anyways, what could this scratch tell us? Did the writer bite it for stress or just a bad habit? Was it dropped from a height? Was it jostled in a box of precious belongings as an ox cart carried it away from areas of unrest?
And here, see the dent in the ferule of a French sable brush? I bought this little beauty in a garage sale among some normal painting brushes. Boy, didn’t they know it wasn’t normal? Couldn’t they tell that some little French man with monstrous mustachio threw it across the room in a fit of anger? Couldn’t they see the frightened eyes of his maids in it? Couldn’t they tell by the peeled paint and teeth dents that he had chewed it while conducting his most stressing parts of his art?
And so many more tools speak out to those who can listen. This fountain pen with half a nib: school boy, circa 1925, broken during a test when the headmaster yelled at him for cheating. This quill pen was probably used to write out long figures of incoming cargo on the wharfs of Boston. Maybe even those famous packages of tea.
And here! Here’s a ball point pen I picked up off from the street. Imagine that! The blue, see-through plastic is all broken on one side and the metal point is badly scratched; I doubt the ball itself is still in good repair. What could story could this pen, this scum of all writing instruments tell me?
Wait; watch as I arrange it with the others. The super-old, prestigious Chinese calligraphy brushes (that I acquired for a four-figure sum…each) the brushes, the fountain pens, the papyrus reed pens (that I stole from a library in Egypt) the quills that very well might have signed the Declaration of Independence.
Now look. What does this arrangement tell you? If they were people, with millionaires and movie-stars surrounding this little John-Doe with over-sized nose, freckled skin and callused hands…what would happen? You may see in your head the little blue pen turning away, or, like a cornered rat, dropping his head and not daring to even look at his fellow humans.
But that’s not what I see. This little blue pen, with scratches and bruise worthy of any other famous battle, would stand up straight and tall (is there any other way for a pen to stand?) and speak out his memories, wounds, problems, views, feelings and ideas just as loudly as the other pens. After all, as a pen, doesn’t he have rights?
So you see, a pen can tell a story.
You just have to listen.

Spoiler! :
This piece is entirely unedited, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. usually, when I write something that I hate, most people generally love it. When I write something that I'm really excited about and that I've put a lot of work into, I get very little feedback for it. So this time I'm gonna go neutral with it and say I'm not tilting either way. :smt003
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Sat May 22, 2010 9:18 am
Lava says...



Hello Jenth!

Well, I did really like it. But here are a few of my thoughts.
This would make a good prologue. One that would compel a reader to continue and think. Which is very good. Though if it were a story as such, I wouldn't like it so much. It would make me want to skip parts. If it was an article-of-sorts I would like it. And remember it.
Right now, I'm unsure of how it would fit into the 'novel' theme.

PM me when you continue this.

~Lava
~
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement

sachi: influencing others since GOD KNOWS WHEN.

  





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Sat May 22, 2010 10:08 am
Jenthura says...



Aiyee, sorry about that. I meant to put it into the short stories. Big mistake, sorry. I'll see if I can ask someone to move it...
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Mon Jun 21, 2010 11:54 am
AquaMarine says...



Hai, Jenny!

Firstly, I think I prefer this to your hamster story. You have the tone on this one down to pat. I adore some stories written in 2nd Person narrative; they always open up a world of questions to me. Like, who is the speaker, and who is he speaking to? It's partly this reason why I'd agree with Lava and say that this could make for an interesting start to a novel. Obviously I have no idea where it would go from here, but it could happen and it's certainly interesting.

Spoiler! :
Makes me think of some crazy Chinese artist dude talking to his apprentice about this pen stuff. The apprentice learns to read pens. Obviously the artist dude is hiding a very big secret - probably about some king or the other that he shouldn't know - but he dies, and the apprentice is left to find out about stuff. The first clue is blatantly the pen that the artist dude was holding when he died - the apprentice uses this to find out that he was actually murdered ... etc etc. xD


What I love is the fact that you've taken a totally different side to this story. So many people write about what a pen can say in the hands of an owner, yet you've written about the pen itself and what it says about the owner; an interesting take that I really liked.

It's the ending I'm not so sure about. This little blue pen. I love the idea, it just doesn't work for me that much. It's probably the part I enjoyed least about this story. However, that's not to say that it's bad - it's probably one of the better ways you could have ended this. I'd just consider it, but don't rush and change it just because I said this.

Anyway, yes, really enjoyed this piece! I look forward to reading anything else you write. Please do PM me when you post something, Jen. :D
"It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want."

-Spock.


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