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Catch up on my first chapter! ^^
I'm a little worried about what I've done with this. Some parts sound a little cheesy to me, so i could use some help! Thanks!
It felt like he was alive in a horrible, terrible nightmare. In the palpable silence that followed the beast’s words, he could feel the absence of his heartbeat. Just a minute ago it was beating incessantly inside his chest with fear, but as the beast drank, it became slower and slower until it finally stopped. A hollow void now took the organ’s place.
The dead woman lay still on the floor, her eyes reflecting up at him like glass. He watched a threadlike stream of blood trickle from her lips like saliva. He felt drawn to it; hunger for it. Need this.
He drifted towards the woman like in a dream, bending down to meet her when another pang of realization and revulsion hit him, making him stop in his tracks.
A familiar cackle came from behind him.
“You’re disgusting,” a growling voice sneered, “All that human in you.”
He didn’t know what to respond with. The beast paused, bringing one gnarled finger up to his chin.
“I’d almost forgotten what newborns are like,” it mused.
“What the hell did you do to me?” he spat.
The thing seemed to be slightly taken aback by his vehemence.
“Well I didn’t kill you, now did I? And that’s one thing for you to be bloody thankful for-”
“What kind of sick lunatic are you?! You drugged me! Put something in my blood… a hallucinogen!” he construed. “And that woman!” He exclaimed, thrusting a pointing finger in her direction, “You killed her!”
“And I could’ve killed you, too, you ungrateful worm.” it said, sounding angry for the first time. It took a step closer. “But you’re still alive! In a sense, anyways.”
“Stop playing games with me!” He yelled, now pointing accusingly at the monster, “You’re just one of those lunatics that takes pride in their murders. You like playing with people’s minds. This is all just some sick game!”
“No it’s not.” The beast argued, “What your life was before this night was the sick game. This world is not meant for rules and regulations. Anyone who thinks that by setting laws they can regulate world’s violence is an fool. I’ve given you a precious gift. You can start over. In this life, you can make your own rules.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I’m going straight to the police, I’m going to tell them exactly what happened, and you’re going to spend the rest of your life in a cell!”
The thing threw its head back and began laughing hysterically.
“A cell?” It chortled.
“And how do your think they would put me in one of those?”
The line was whispered softly into his left ear, and the voice startled him so badly he jumped an inch and spun around. The monster was right behind him, its head thrown back, laughing once again. A split second ago, it was standing six feet in front of him.
He stumbled backwards a few steps in surprise, and his side jutted into the corner of an old oak end table. A porcelain lamp wobbled off the end, but he caught it just in time.
Without really thinking about it, he threw the lamp at the beast with all his might. It smashed perfectly into the side of its head, and the broken pieces rained to the floor.
Its laughing stopped instantaneously. Its orange eyes shone a second’s worth of surprise, and then turned livid. Deep cuts scored the entire right side of its face.
A moment passed where they both stared back at the other with wild hatred and loathing. Then at the same time, the beast lunged for the man as he spun on his heel and booked it for the door.
Keep up the good work.