Young Writers Society

Hello, YWS.

We are the Cabassi Crime Family. As of now we offer a service to all, however, as with any mafia, it will cost you.

We are here to offer you Critiques. Perhaps you didn't get any. Perhaps you want another opinion. We are here for you. We critique poetry, fiction, non-fiction, and everything else on YWS.

Here is how this system will work:

10 points will get you a generalized critique. The CCF will give its initial sentiments on your story and some helpful advice, but no specific references.

50 points will get you a high quality critique. The CCF will go in-depth into your work and give you a line by line crit as well as advice and other helpful information.

Simply Donate your Points to the Cabassi_Crime_Family with a message containing the amount you donated and a link to your work.

The CCF works in a timely manner and you will receive your Critique within 5 days of your donation.

We look forward to doing business with you,

Cabassi Crime Family

Oo

I feel somewhat frightened.

*coughs*

...you're really really scaring me, you know that?

Anyway...I hope your business runs well!

P.S. Don't kill me!

You're making a business out of critiquing?

You wouldn't do it out of the kindness of your heart? Shame on you!

But-but people can get it for freee from here! What makes your company so special!? >D Good -luck

There seems to be some confusion. This is not a replacement to the normal critiquing on YWS.

This is for those who have yet to recieve a crit, or would like more.

If you want your piece torn apart, giving you all the helpful adivce you can handle, then we are the critiquers for you. No one can give you the quality critique that the CCF can.

Shouldn't you be the Cabassi Critique Family?

Crime family just sounds so much more... violent. Oh. That sounds like fun.

Shouldn't you provide samples?

Interesting:

10 points will get you a low quality critique.

Err, I'd change that. I can understand what you're saying but no-one should ever give a 'low quality' critique. Maybe a less 'in depth' critque, but not a 'low quality' one.

Simply Donate your Points to the Cabassi_Crime_Family with a message contaning the amount you donated and a link to your work.

So we have to 'pay' before we know whether it will help or not? Do you do refunds if it hasn't helped?

The CCF works in a timely manner and you will recieve your Critique within 5 days of your donation.

Ah. I may have misunderstood this sentence. You say 'timely' at the beginning but then say '5 days' later on?

That has to be a typo.

I'd seriously recommend bringing it down to a few days or so. I, personally, wouldn't want to wait five days for a critique .

No one can give you the quality critique that the CCF can.

Nice persuasive marketing talk , but unrealistic.


Overall? Nice idea, I can see where it's going. The persuasive points were phrased quite nicely. I'm just not sure if this will take off. If someone is waiting five days for a critique (I know you said within, but it implies it could be five days), then they'll probably get a free one during that time. People often ask for crits in chat, you should consider advertising yourselves in there. Muscle in on the competition! Hope you don't get bored of critiquing either.

(By the way, this critique was completely free. Consider it a complimentary 'welcome critique'.)

EDIT: And by the way, you have a competitor that undercuts your price. Look up a bit.

DarkLight

Haha, I wonder if any of the newer-ish members realizes this isn't a new random person, and it's the CCF. heh heh.

Yes, you have competition :-p I'm free! And I'm awesome ^_~

Claudette wrote:Yes, you have competition :-p I'm free! And I'm awesome ^_~

Hear, hear.

Yeah, I'd muchly like to see a sample. I'm not spending points on a critique that would pick up all the wrong errors.

*sticks out tongue*

I still stick with the rest of my argument.

Ok, the constant use of 'we'. I get it's more than one person but I don't get why. Maybe it's some darker presence from within YWS. Like SPEW, but not SPEW.

And I'm sure I've heard the CCF acronym before. Looks like I've got some trawling to do.

*trawls*

DarkLight

Hey cool!

I may have to check the local prices around here though.

Magicman and Claudette sound good.

Anyway, what does Cabassi mean? Or CCF? Constant Crits Fmaily?

Um... oh yeah. I think it's a great idea, and regardless of the price, you'll probably get business from me. I never crit enough to get even near Featured Member, and as far as I can see that's the only use of points.

*cringes a little* I actually thought 50 points was a bit cheap for a real good crit.

Seeya around!