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Deep in Mud
Stone by stone I wall you in.
I'll always be with you.
Stone by stone I wall you in,
And nobody will hear you scream.
—Rammstein
Ivan pinched his cigarette between his lips and lit the end. The tip glowed in the darkness as he inhaled. The forest still smelt like rain and the ground was muddy. The tall trees blocked out most of the moonlight, only leaving enough for visibility. Beyond that, it seemed like no light was ever allowed into such an isolated area.
“Now that we are here, tell me again. Do you agree to this?” Ivan spoke with a calm tone, casually flicking the ashes from his cigarette’s end.
Lucas watched the ashes fall, then quickly said, “I want this just as much as you do.”
The man took another deep inhale, and the cigarette’s tip glowed like a miniature sun. “You have beautiful eyes,” he spoke, brushing the younger one’s hair from his face.
“And you have the voice of Dionysus.”
There was a pause between the two speaking, as if the elder was contemplating, and the younger was worried.
“Give me your hand,” Ivan demanded suddenly. The boy held out his arm without any hesitation.
Ivan took the cigarette from his lips, the tip smoldering brightly, and pressed it firmly onto Lucas’ upturned wrist. His flesh singed under the cigarette’s tip, and though Lucas felt like the cigarette would burn right through him, a faint moan escaped from his lips. Lucas’ arm flinched under the pain, wanting to escape but not allowing itself that power. When the end of the cigarette finally seemed to die, Ivan brought it back to his lips and relit it.
“It feels good, doesn’t it?” Ivan rocked on the ball of his heals, laughing a little bit.
Lucas stared at the puffy, red circle that swelled on his skin. “Is it all going to be like this?” He seemed unmoved and yet his voice shook, fearful of what was to come.
“You agreed, did you not? It will feel so much better than a little burn.” Ivan grinned as he tossed his cigarette to the dirt. He pulled Lucas’ body to him, and wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist. Ivan pulled him closer still, until their bodies were molded together like the mud, touching every part of the other carelessly. He kissed the boys plump lips, but pulled away suddenly. “You do agree to this, don’t you? You did before, but please tell me now that you still do, before I do too much of what I can never take back.”
Lucas drew in a quick breath, like that single kiss had already driven him over the edge. He ran his fingers through Ivan’s dark hair, twisting it gently. “Kiss me again,” he muttered, “and then I will answer.”
Their lips pressed together, but with more force. Ivan eagerly opened his mouth, and caught the boys lip between his teeth. He first bit gently, testing Lucas’ reaction. Seeing that the boy only moved his mouth to a more willing position, Ivan bit harder. Lucas made a small whimper, but his hands still run all over Ivan’s body, caressing him where ever his fingers could reach.
“Yes,” he spoke through the kiss, “please, start before I change my mind.”
Ivan’s face held a broad smile. He pushed Lucas down onto his knees, forcing him to kneel in the mud.
“Mud is beautiful though disgusting, don’t you think?” Ivan asked. He did not stoop down into the mud, though, like he had forced Lucas to do. His black boots were covered in mud already, but he did not intend to cover himself in it yet.
“Why do you stall and ask those questions? Do what we have come here for.” Lucas’ words were rushed, and the slightest sense of hesitation could be heard in his voice.
Ivan pulled a knife from his coat pocket.
“Is this what you wanted?” Ivan asked as he pulled the blade out of its case. He placed the tip of the knife to Lucas’ temple lightly, and traced down to his chin. As the knife went down, Lucas tried hard to follow it with his eyes. It made no cut, but the delicate scrape over his skin sent shivers of expectance through his body.
“No, it is what I need.” Lucas reached out and clasped Ivan’s wrists, as if to ask for more. Ivan chuckled at the pleading look he had.
Ivan pushed him off and slid the knife back in its sheath. He walked to a pile of things they had brought out with them: rope, a shovel, a whip, and other odd tools. He picked up the rope and walked back to Lucas.
“Put your arms behind your back.” Ivan wrapped the rope around Lucas’ wrists, and pulled it tight. He grabbed the end of the rope and dragged him through the mud. It gathered in his hair, on his back, the mud covered
“What are you doing?” Lucas shouted. He kicked his legs and dug his heals into the ground in an effort to stop what was happening, but it was to no avail.
“I’m only moving you, darling. Please, control yourself.” After dragging Lucas for some way, Ivan had him sitting against a tree. “I can’t have you passing out and falling over. You must be sitting up.”
Ivan paced around the tree for a few moments, then hunched in front of Lucas. “Should I tie you to the tree, as well?” he joked. From his pocket he once again pulled out the knife. Ivan cut a slit in the center of Lucas’ shirt, and ripped it until his chest was showing. He continued cutting and ripping until the shirt was completely off.
“Are you going to slice my skin and let me bleed?” He was slightly sarcastic.
“Not yet, I can’t ruin everything.” Ivan put the knife on the ground and took a lighter from his pocket. He flicked it until the bright flame showed; in the darkness, it seemed to be the only light, just like the cigarette had been.
The flame glowed for a few minutes on its own, simply hovering over the lighter. Lucas began to wonder what Ivan was going to do, but before he could prepare for it, he felt it. Ivan had moved quickly, and was now holding the lighter so the flame burned on Lucas’ chest. It singed and burned away what little hair was there, and left bright red welts. Ivan moved the fire across his chest until the flame rested under his right nipple.
Lucas bit his lip to divert his body from one pain to the other.
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes!” he shouted. He moved around wildly, trying to escape the flame.
“Do you want more?”
Again Lucas bit his lip, but this time he appeared to be thinking. Ivan leaned forward, still holding the flame to Lucas’ chest, and kissed him. He pushed on his mouth until he got it open, and soon the excitement they both felt caused him to drop the lighter as their tongues played together.
Ivan straddled Lucas, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. He moved his lips across his face and down to his neck. Ivan kissed passionately, but just as soon as he had caressed the skin with his lips, he opened his mouth and bit down.
A scream which melted into a groan of satisfaction escaped from Lucas’ mouth while he writhed to escape. “Oh, God...” he muttered under his breath.
Ivan reached behind him and grabbed the knife without Lucas’ notice. He wrapped his arms around him again, and bit more deeply into Lucas’ neck. His teeth pinched the flesh, tearing through it until small droplets of blood rolled down Lucas’ skin. As Ivan did so, he drew the knife across the boy’s back with as much pressure as he could manage.
Lucas lunged forward when he felt the knife carving into him, almost knocking Ivan off of his lap. The large cut, which spread from his right shoulder blade to his left side, began stinging as blood trickled out.
“You keep surprising me,” Lucas said, laughing.
“Do you like what you feel?” Ivan’s voice was full of sensuality. He kissed Lucas’ shoulder and licked his salty skin. His tongue traveled from there and up his neck, to the spot behind his ear. “Tell me.”
Lucas gnashed his teeth, not used to the abuse that was being given to him. “Yes,” he muttered.
Ivan smiled as he brushed the boy’s hair from his eyes and said, “What can I do for my dearest?” He stroked Lucas’ chest like he was an animal.
“I need more.” He tried to move his arms, to reach out and pull Ivan toward him, but the ropes held him back. “Damn it, Ivan. I…Are you going to only let me bleed to death?”
“I would never; I’m just letting you catch your breath.” Ivan smiled, and kissed him sweetly on the forehead. He rose and walked back over to the tool pile. He picked up an item which looked like a rod with two metal prongs on the end and a dog’s chocker leash.
He walked slowly back to where Lucas sat. Ivan loosened the leash to fit it around the boy’s head and put it on his neck. He pulled a little to remove the slack, and the spikes the lined the collar pressed to the skin.
He touched the prongs of the other instrument to Lucas’ chest, “You’ll love this.” He pressed a button. A low jolt of electricity flowed though his body. Lucas convulsed, both from the shock running through him and from the surprise.
“What the hell is that?” Lucas shouted. Though he enjoyed the pain, he didn’t like the feeling it left behind. His body shook violently as the electricity still ran through him.
Ivan grinned, “Do you not like it?” He pulled on the end of the leash, and the spikes dug into flesh. Lucas shrieked.
His chest heaved high, then slowly lowered. He rolled his head in a slow circle, trying to breathe again. “Don’t fucking shock me.” His voice had become stern.
“You agreed,” Ivan said coldly, as he put the prong to Lucas’ neck and shocked him in.
Lucas let out a yelp and seemed to stop breathing. His head dropped lightly, then suddenly he lifted it back up again. “Stop, please!” In response, Ivan yanked on the chocker. The spikes pierced through Lucas’ skin and tore on the wounds. Lines of blood ran down his shoulders and chest. He convulsed and stared up at Ivan with glazed eyes.
“This is what you needed, isn’t it? More, you asked.” As Ivan spoke he came closer to Lucas. “I’m only giving you what you asked for.” Ivan pressed the boy’s lips with his own.
Tears slowly rolled down Lucas’ cheeks. Ivan ignored him, and as he cried, he kissed him harder, their tongues sliding together like snakes. To try to get him to stop, Lucas bit down on Ivan’s tongue, but it seemed only to entice him. When they stopped, Ivan had an evil look on his face.
“I didn’t want this,” Lucas tried to plead; “This isn’t what I agreed to!”
Ivan laughed and got up. He walked to the pile, and lifted up the shovel. “It is too late to take anything back, my darling. You are mine,” Ivan said. He pushed the shovel into the mud; it was a perfect night for this.
Lucas lifted his head and tried to see what Ivan was doing. It was then that he realized Ivan was not digging a hole—he was digging a grave.“Please don’t do this, please!”
Still digging, Ivan said, “Don’t complain. I’m only giving you the burial you deserve.” He laughed, and lifted the leash off of the ground. He tugged on it, and Lucas fell forward. He pulled harder again, but Lucas’ body was only dragged through the mud. He gasped for air, and kicked his legs like the times before. As he lied, face smearing with mud, each breath was a struggle. He had stopped feeling any pleasure.
“Why do you have to do this?” he whined. Lucas tried to stand, which gained Ivan’s attention.
“You are mine,” Ivan said as he walked towards him, “If I put you in the mud, you lie in the mud.” He grabbed Lucas by the hair and thrust his face back into the mud.
Rolling onto his back, Lucas stared at the sky. The mud had gotten into his mouth; cold and grainy, but tasteless. “Are you going to kill me first? Hurt me more before that, even?” His voice was scarcely heard.
“I can hurt you all I want. But I’m not going to kill you.” Hearing what Ivan said, Lucas felt a little ease. The man paused for a moment and only stared deeply into Lucas’ eyes. He wanted to catch him off guard.
“You still have a voice like Dionysius,” Lucas whispered. The mud stuck to his back and crawled into his cut, soothing the burning sensation only a little.
Ivan kicked him hard in the ribs, and Lucas curled in a ball, wheezing. “How much pain until it kills you?” he said, going back to digging.
“What the…hell is wrong with you?” Lucas wheeze out, but he got no reply. He rolled in the mud, and it seemed like he was completely covered in it. He had lost control of his body and started shaking.
Ivan stopped digging, and walked again to where he lay. “You are beautiful,” he said slowly. “You are more beautiful than the others. But you are still one of them.”
A crack of thunder was heard from far off, a remnant of the storm that had passed. “It’s time,” Ivan whispered, as he grabbed Lucas’ arm and lifted him up. When Lucas finally stood, Ivan pulled the collar off of him. His neck was vibrant purple mixed with the red of his blood. Ivan led him forward, and at every other step he had to lift him back up or hold him still.
Finally, they were to the hole Ivan had dug.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to miss you,” Ivan whispered, as he let go of Lucas and pushed him in. Before he could even hear Lucas crying and begging, he lifted the shovel and started to fill the hole with dirt.
Ivan lowered his head in mourning. “Rest in peace, my dearest one.”
); the sparse, short description of actions makes this very unsettling.
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