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Young Writers Society


drama and rogue



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Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:59 am
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Lumi says...



i have dreams of dying, of breaking through the cosmic void
at precisely eighty-nine miles per hour, crunching bones
through the plexiglass wall between my face and god's,
and every night, waking in a cold sweat, i write these scenes--
reels and tapes from an ambien drive--and i pretend to have power,
pretend to have control over their great outcome.

there's a terror, smooth and quick like a nightingale,
and she likes to kiss my neck, to slide her fingers--weeds--
through the mesh of cobras behind my ears. she'll follow me, i think,
until this night i dream of, until i'm broken like the sound barrier,
like the skin of an unripe fruit between vicious molars.

the only power i have now is the release of thoughts,
the feed of energy into the universal consciousness;
this is godlike strength, feeble yet omnipotent in perspective,
and this makes my inevitable loss both sin and tragedy,
drama and rogue desire.
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Fri Jan 27, 2012 12:42 pm
Karzkin says...



Quit your day job, be a lyricist.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

K's Killa Kritiques

#TNT

All Hail the undisputed king of the YWS helicopter game.
  





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38 Reviews



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Points: 1538
Reviews: 38
Fri Jan 27, 2012 2:17 pm
AliyahPillage says...



I really love this poem, I just decided that I would make all spelling and grammar mistakes red so that you could see where they are so I copied the whole poem. I love how short the poems is it makes it easier to understand.

i have dreams of dying, of breaking through the cosmic void
at precisely eighty-nine miles per hour, crunching bones
through the plexiglass wall between my face and god's,
and every night, waking in a cold sweat, i write these scenes--
reels and tapes from an ambien drive--and i pretend to have power,
pretend to have control over their great outcome.

there's a terror, smooth and quick like a nightingale,
and she likes to kiss my neck, to slide her fingers--weeds--
through the mesh of cobras behind my ears. she'll follow me, i think,
until this night i dream of, until i'm broken like the sound barrier,
like the skin of an unripe fruit between vicious molars.

the only power i have now is the release of thoughts,
the feed of energy into the universal consciousness;
this is godlike strength, feeble yet omnipotent in perspective,
and this makes my inevitable loss both sin and tragedy,
drama and rogue desire.


I have nothing else to say other than nice job keep up the good work.
Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Jessicarlie Love
  





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745 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Male
Points: 1626
Reviews: 745
Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:15 pm
Lumi says...



AliyahPillage wrote:I really love this poem, I just decided that I would make all spelling and grammar mistakes red so that you could see where they are so I copied the whole poem. I love how short the poems is it makes it easier to understand.

i have dreams of dying, of breaking through the cosmic void
at precisely eighty-nine miles per hour, crunching bones
through the plexiglass wall between my face and god's,
and every night, waking in a cold sweat, i write these scenes--
reels and tapes from an ambien drive--and i pretend to have power,
pretend to have control over their great outcome.

there's a terror, smooth and quick like a nightingale,
and she likes to kiss my neck, to slide her fingers--weeds--
through the mesh of cobras behind my ears. she'll follow me, i think,
until this night i dream of, until i'm broken like the sound barrier,
like the skin of an unripe fruit between vicious molars.

the only power i have now is the release of thoughts,
the feed of energy into the universal consciousness;
this is godlike strength, feeble yet omnipotent in perspective,
and this makes my inevitable loss both sin and tragedy,
drama and rogue desire.


I have nothing else to say other than nice job keep up the good work.


Thanks for he kind comments! I suppose it'd be fair to say that all grammar was intentional (including a reference to the drug Ambien). Let me know if there's any further confusion.
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  








The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices; to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill, and suspicions can destroy. A thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own.
— Rod Serling, Twilight Zone