Young Writers Society

My mind.
It crumbles.
Red seas.
Like sinking.
A dream.
Why marriage?
Faithful;
dishonest.

My heart.
Drained of blood.
Blue eyes.
Like crying.
A thought.
Who is there?
Contrast;
irony.

Your love.
Repeater.
Green grass.
Like nature.
A kiss.
What am I?
Malice;
nihilist.

Bedroom.
I'm shipwrecked.
Black threads.
Like ribbons.
A touch.
Where to go?
Complete;
fall apart.

Hey, I like how this flows. It definitely is connotation for sadness, loneliness, hurt, and "complete disintegration". Italicizing the third paragraph was a great idea, since its was a deviation from the "my" theme. If it was to add a stronger, distinct emotion to the piece, it worked as well.

This was depressingly good. Less words, but more meaning.

Great!