Young Writers Society

Once upon a midday boring, my eyes are blurring, I am poring
O’er a game of cards, a quaint and curious pastime of forgotten lore.
My eighteenth game, something is nagging at the back of my mind, flagging
My attention: “A full deck of cards? Are you quite sure?”
“Must be nothing,” I muttered, dismissing that thought and closing that door.
“Fifty-two cards, no less, no more.”

Wrote this for English. It's an imitation poem of "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe.

Hey, Sassy!

I apologize, but I've not read 'The Raven'. Though I have no doubt that it's a great poem because it's inspired you to write so well even though it might only be an assignment. So great job, Sassy.

It sounds witty and amusing. But it's still quite poetically intact thanks to the good use of language. Else, I would have mistaken this for some sort of prose work.

So I'm trying to understand the concept of this poem and forgive me if I'm wrong in assuming it in the incorrect way. So I think that the persona here is just musing over a deck of cards and has played with it for quite sometime and is now bored with the 'chore'. So the narrator puts the cards together and double checks whether the contents of the deck are rightfully numbered and ordered.
If I had to derive more meaning from this, I'd border on to the philosophical aspect of it and come up with strange life theories. xD

The rhyming is great and the words 'Poring' and 'flagging', 'lore', 'sure', 'door' and 'more' sound perfectly apt and don't hinder the flow of the poem. It sounds casual but in a more personal way since the narrator is giving an account of his/her experience with cards. So great job in rhyming as well.

So the one critique I would have for this is that for me, this is a sort of cliff-hanger ending. There's no reason for anything that's going on and it sounds relaxed and like as if it's random poetic literary form, taken from an account of someone's life.
The conflict which the narrator had was the number of cards he/she thought to have decked without doubt but was unsure of himself for some reason. Or maybe there's a totally different reason altogether. But I hope I'm right in my own theory. ^.^

You've got wonderful talent. Keep the ink flowing. I look forward to reading more from you!

Murtuza