Young Writers Society

I’ve hardly known you
Merely a month,
Even then, my heart calls to you
Endlessly.

When I think about you
My heart sings,
My stomach clenches
There’s no end to the pain.

This feeling is unquenchable,
like the fires of hell.
Its burns constantly
Scorching my soul with you.

My heart calls to you,
every minute of every day.
Slowly I’m consumed
By the fires of my desire.

Alas, through forces unseen
Our love could never be.
Hearts held apart
by unyielding hands.

I've hardly known you
Merely a month,
you are my pain, my life, my soul.
You kill me.

I feel as if I can relate to this poem. It shows a persons deepest feelings and it captures many hearts. Even now, as I sit here, tears threaten to fall from my eyes for your poem moved me and reached into my depths. It basically tells a story that heaps of people will and can relate to. Absolutly beautiful! Keep on writing!

I really liked this poem it flowed nicely though I did think the ending ended too abrubtly, whuch kinda ruined the flow of the poem. So I suggest making at least one more stanza that clearly wraps up the piece maybe try a full circle ending where the ending ties up with the beginning that is usually a great technique to try when trying to find a proper ending for a piece. Thanks for posting, I really enjoyed this!
Peace,
Snickerdooly