Young Writers Society

How do you love another?
After you’ve already loved before?
How do you explain your love for them?
And determine which meant more?

Do you lie and say,
“I love you more than he”?
Or do you stand up and say,
“My heart has two sets of keys”?

To have a heart divided between two
Can surely cause much pain,
But not as much as she felt hurt
Looking at their faces.

For she was the cause of this,
She alone to blame.
Loving two twin brothers,
Not many girls can claim.

Now, as she watches them leave
She finally makes her choice.
Dropping down on her knees in tears,
She screams till she loses her voice.

For it wasn’t the second brother she loved,
Nor the very first.
It was, of course, the third
That travelled dead inside a hearse.

Wow, this was really good! Hahaha, the ending made me laugh a little. I mean, triplets? That's very interesting, and I never saw it coming. Your poem flowed very well and I really love the line, "...My heart has two sets of keys." That was a fantastic way of explaining this kind of situation. The only error I saw was when you wrote

But not as much as she felt hurt
Looking at their face.

I think that it should either be written as "looking at his face," or "looking at their faces." Their is plural so I'm guessing you just forgot to put the extra s at the end. Overall, great work!

This is a good poem, especially the way it ended. It made me laugh, though the beginning was quite different. I really liked the second and third stanza, it does explain the turmoil one goes through while facing this type of situation. But the ending was unexpected and entertaining . It was a good read!

It is what I am just feeling right now. :"C I'm really confused. I like your piece. Thanks for posting it!

AOow, this great! Sweet, heartbreaking and hilarious all at once! You managed with punctuation, the flow and rythm went on well even if since the lines differed in length a bit too much at times it got a tiny bit choppy.
The one grammatic error I found has allready been pointed out "face" should be "faces"...
So, this was overall simple, plain, not very creative maybe since it held little imagery and stuff but it still contained much emotion and I enjoyed reading it. Nice job!

You get 3½/5 spiders!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

This is great! I really like it ^_^ I think this is an amazing 'on the spot' poem

Do you lie and say,
“I love you more than he”?
Or do you stand up and say,
“My heart has two sets of keys”?

I liked this stanza best, for no particular reason ^_^

For it wasn’t the second brother she loved,
Nor the very first.
It was, of course, the third
That travelled dead inside a hearse.

But wait, this confused me a bit. So are you saying they were triplets, but she loved the one that died? It doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem, since it seems like she is bouncing from one brother to the next x)
Oh, and travelled should be traveled x)

Great poem!!!

This is very clever! It flows nicely and the ending made me laugh. It's different - a great sort of different.

Do you lie and say,
I love you more than he?
Or do you stand up and say,
My heart has two sets of keys?

I love this stanza - very original. I especially like the final line about the keys

The only grammatical error I found was the 'face' one that has already been picked up, so good job!
Overall, an original, enetertaining piece with a lovely flow.

Two thumbs up!
AmyLightwood