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Young Writers Society


Jack pudding



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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 10
Wed Feb 01, 2006 1:49 pm
giant anatomy says...



Jack pudding

Seven sleepers
Seven sleepers
And a copper stain
From welkin ring
You love the drama
On my psyche
So why
Don’t I cry?
My genetics set on
Slow release
But my cerebrum
Brainpan
Becomes stove
The pressure
In time
Your get your wail
Seven sleepers
Seven sleepers
Tragic creates
Traffic
Just shows
Humans love drama
Just look away
Just look away
From roof top hard backs
Bullet on wheels
No intention targets
To kill
But projectile bull eyes
And there’s a showcase
Of blood platelets velvet drapes
Crushed shell
Scrape heap and limbs
Tragic creates traffic
No drama
Just look away


©luke instone-brewer copyright 2006
Last edited by giant anatomy on Thu Feb 02, 2006 12:01 am, edited 3 times in total.
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 10
Wed Feb 01, 2006 6:11 pm
giant anatomy says...



all welcome 2 leave feedback cheers
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 13
Wed Feb 01, 2006 6:24 pm
youngblackwriter7 says...



Cool poem! There are no other words to describe it, besides cool!
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 10
Wed Feb 01, 2006 6:29 pm
giant anatomy says...



cheers mate :wink:
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 1190
Reviews: 6
Wed Feb 01, 2006 6:48 pm
untill it sleeps says...



great stuff :)
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 1160
Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:18 pm
Elizabeth says...



AWESOME and the title had PUDDING in it!
What's welkin mean? Welkin ring?
  





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66 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 66
Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:20 am
Doubt says...



Quite a poem. Not exactly my favourite style but it was nice.
Cuz I'm praying for rain and I'm praying for tidal waves.
I wanna see the ground give way. I wanna watch it all go down.
  








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