Young Writers Society

Aquarius orthodoxy
Are planet
The last in the roulette
To be shot into extension
Who's brave enough to fire ?
only those obsessed with Materials
More valued to a world of copper and notes than
the function of human expression
He adjusts centre torsean folds
So unsure of himself
He would pull the trigger
Just to be remembered
All this pebble dash and
Victorian baked walls
Environmentally don’t link
To the warm
Looking for belonging
Atrophic grey
Pigments blue
And the arctic silk That won’t lay
He wants to see beauty
in a different Ph of lime
And death
As not just a absence of light
With just the activity in his head
To be accompanied to ambiguous
Polystyrene desires Interrogate his enclosure
Contracting a downward fringe
Losing the Frey
In temperament rags
He can’t carve
A final statement in stone
Its pages too long [/pre]

© copyright luke instone-brewer 2006

Although i didnt understand all of it, it seemed pretty cool.

First off:
Shouldn't Are planet
be Are planets ?

Aghh, can't finish criticing, got to go, but I have to say I liked this... pretty... although I thought it would be about that entire zodiac aquarius

lol cheers for the minor mistakes i made .. its title relates 2 me not a zodiac sign for my birthday is on feb 16 so thats my star sign . i know u wont make sense of it all but i dont like 2 give things away i like for u 2 code it out your self but a reminder on what i have gave away bout this poem is that the title means my birthday and me in genral and the poem is about the fear of not being remembered but thanks for the feedback always useful

o yeh forget i dont know wot u where expect on a poem being about a zodiac sign there not much u can be inspired about soming thats pretty much self explained but if u can do a poem about a zodiac sign then please do at wotever level it is i will applude for i cant grasp a poem of that nature 2 be under my standards of submiting it just dosnt have any motivation for me 2 write about cheers for overlookin my piece anyways

There you go again leeting my dear sir