Young Writers Society

Think dirty when you read this...haha.......

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Stay inside with me.
We can watch the weather change.
From this safe view we can decide:
Warm it up or cool it down?
Depends on the frequency of the heat.

When it snows,
I’ll hold you close,
Warming you up
In the process.
We can roll in the fresh white blanket.

When it rains,
We’ll stand outside.
I’ll keep you near.
Under your umbrella,
It’s nice and dry.

When it’s sunny,
We’ll go for a swim.
The water’s warm,
I’ll encourage you to take a risk…
And take off your clothes.

In the fall,
At the end of the seasons,
It’s just the beginning for us.
Come with me,
And we’ll never get cold.

___________________

I have an interesting mind...

haha... thats not really as dirty as it could be.. but it is v. interesting none the less... nice job...

oh goodness.. that was.. I want to say hilarious.. but I think that was becuase you felt you had to point out the innuendos. that made it far funnier than it really should have been.

one thing I noticed.. all the stanzas start out with a rhythm, and then it's broken by the last line, except for the third. the first too, if read one way, but I digress. other than that, I didn't notice anything huge, and i'm not familiar enough with your writing to go into much more detail than that, unless you would like me too (I don't mind, it'll just take more time on my part). Interseting mind, indeed.

XD

I like this line the best (though I'm not saying why!):

When it snows,
I’ll hold you close,
Warming you up
In the process.
We can roll in the fresh white blanket.

But you're naughty!

I like this! Its a new outlook on relationships. 1,000 props!

I like the last line.Good job.