Young Writers Society

Gone are the days
when we ran along the creek
chasing minnows,
and turning over countless rocks
in the search for crayfish.

Gone is the age
when paradise was
a swingset,
a playhouse,
and a sandbox,
that could be anything
we wanted them to be.

The laughter of little
boys and girls living
out their dreams
died long ago.

One by one, they were
plucked from their roots
and taken far away.

I didn't realize
how essential they were
until it was too late.

I've seen some of them
since then.
We say hello, but what
we grew here seems to have
wilted.

As I drive down the street
the houses look the same,
but in my eyes,
the landscape is forever changed.

The damage is irreversible.

One still lives nextdoor,
but she's more distant
than most galaxies.
Is there really
such a thing
as "Best Friends Forever"?

wow...i ...er it didn't have a great rhythm, but that just me trying to make this into a proper critique. truthfully, i thought this poem was really good. it was straightfoward, but had a good meaning...and that made all the difference. it was very true, had a perfect ending...er...

yeah. really good

same thing with my neighbor and I...we were best friends for years. Now, I hardly know him. I think he takes steroids, I think his parents may be getting a divorce, I think he has a really beautiful girlfriend and I think he's a pretty smart and funny guy and I think we have nothing in common, but we're still the same, right? We're pebbles tossed in the stream of life that fate delivered far, far away. I remember playing X-men with him, it was wonderful. I guess I was one of the few who wanted to forever stay in those dreams of imagination, I stayed there, and he slipped into adulthood and our worlds changed. I donno. He's always been really popular, and I haven't.

sorry, you just hit that vein. Um, I like a lot of the poem, but a lot of it seems kind of forced...like something's there, but you're not digging deeply enough. As a result, it doesn't flow very well and lots of the middle stanzas just seem unnecessary. But I dig it.

I really love this nite. I thought it had good meaning and thought put into it but it does not have very good rhythm

niteowl wrote:Gone are the days
when we ran along the creek
chasing minnows,
and turning over countless rocks
in the search for crayfish.

Gone is the age
when paradise was
a swingset,
a playhouse,
and a sandbox,
that could be anything
we wanted them to be.

The laughter of little
boys and girls living
out their dreams
died long ago.

One by one, they were
plucked from their roots
and taken far away.

I didn't realize
how essential they were
until it was too late.

I've seen some of them
since then.
We say hello, but what
we grew here seems to have
wilted.

As I drive down the street
the houses look the same,
but in my eyes,
the landscape is forever changed.

The damage is irreversible.

One still lives nextdoor,
but she's more distant
than most galaxies.
Is there really
such a thing
as "Best Friends Forever"?

Wow. Great poem. I really liked it. I see where you're coming from too. I always think about this whole concept.
My favourite stanza is probably:
"Gone is the age
when paradise was
a swingset,
a playhouse,
and a sandbox,
that could be anything
we wanted them to be."

Although, I loved the whole thing. :thumb: