Young Writers Society

It was your first birthday,
I gave you some skates,
and I couldnt wait -
for you to use them.

Please dont touch the blade
Please dont touch the blade
You know how sharp
the blade was made.

On your second birthday,
I gave you a remote car,
you never drove it far
before you stopped.

Your car is run by batteries,
Please dont eat the batteries,
Its painful and poisonous.
You never gave me a flattery.

On your third birthday
I gave you some thumbtacks,
they were red, yellow, and black.
You ate them.

You started to bleed and scream and yell,
spewing thumbtack death from hell.
It was painful and sharp
and quite hard to quell.

At the hospital you-ouch god dammit, stupid thumbtack.

Sponson Light wrote:It was your first birthday,
I gave you some skates,
and I couldnt wait -
for you to use them.

Please dont touch the blade
Please dont touch the blade
You know how sharp
the blade was made.

On your second birthday,
I gave you a remote car,
you never drove it far
before you stopped.

Your car is run by batteries,
Please dont eat the batteries,
Its painful and poisonous.
You never gave me a flattery.

On your third birthday
I gave you some thumbtacks,
they were red, yellow, and black.
You ate them.

You started to bleed and scream and yell,
spewing thumbtack death from hell.
It was painful and sharp
and quite hard to quell.

At the hospital you-ouch god dammit, stupid thumbtack.

Quite abstract. I liked:
"Please dont eat the batteries,
Its painful and poisonous.
You never gave me a flattery."

It seems a weird rhythm and such a unique style of writing and choice of words.
It's a nice change from all the routine, generic poems out there.
:thumb:

Lmao... three year olds....
What an odd poem though... never thought that... this was... going to end like that.
Good job though, why don't you draw a picture for it was well?

I like the advice in some stanza's followed with a rhyme. It was a good poem.