Young Writers Society

In the cold, the world slows down
Airs eerie movements become incarnate in mist
Light seems almost to halt in solid strands
Creating beautifully intricate sculptures of glow
Elegant wisps of cigarette vapour
Trail from your mouth giving shape,
Albeit infinitely ethereal, to every word,
Every breath, every thought
But it perplexes me as much as your speech.
You stand so close to me, yet
An infinity of this frozen time lies between us.

It was good....but it didn't touch me in anyway. I may have to re-read it lol.

I really liked it. A lot of emotion and nice imagery.

You stand so close to me, yet
An infinity of this frozen time lies between us.

These were the best lines. A great way to finish

that is absolutely beautiful...very complex, great images, just....mmmm! Like a snowflake

only not cold, or really like a snowflake,
except in it's temperature
which was cold.

nvm, I liked it.

Oooh, I say, very good.

Minor point - put an apostrophe in that 'airs' or you will surely perish.

Excellent ending - the last three lines were very, very good.

Thank you all for the great feedback, Consider that apostrophe inserted.

I liked the last two sentences. Nice imagery indeed. The emotion is well brought forward. I'm tracing my mind for any crititical comments or suggestions, but nothing.....I guess it's just good!!!