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Young Writers Society


math... (rated for language)



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11 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 11
Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:57 pm
BettyPaige says...



I'm not sure how good this really is, I wrote it yesterday, one of my first poems ever... I mostly write prose/songs and fiction...so yeah...tear it apart to your hearts delight...

math (just because I'm female, middle class, and white doesn't mean I don't have a voice...)

mocking the emo trend of
slitting wrists and blacking eyes
I wear my wristbands proudly

sick and tired -is-
sick and tired of giggle, crying
wailing girls in brand.new band tee's
when all my
flogging molly
and
ramones
are worn
out

it's not my fault, just circumstance that made me
suburian (x)
female (x)
white (x)
american

and fuck you for your generalizing
all the little things about me
[I don't wear jewelry but collect pins]

don't worry we all make mistakes that we pay for, for life
All I learned in life, I learned from reading banned books.

I like my life with a little salt, a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  





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3821 Reviews

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Gender: Female
Points: 3491
Reviews: 3821
Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:56 am
Snoink says...



XD

Um... yeah. I found this funny, but I just had a chemistry exam.

I'm guessing this is an anti-emo poem, but it doesn't really display your message enough. It's like, you get confused in the middle and forget what you're saying. Even so, the voice and style are different and very eye-pleasing to read.

EDIT: Interesting title too, but I thought it would be about math! XD
Last edited by Snoink on Wed Nov 16, 2005 6:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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56 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 56
Wed Nov 16, 2005 6:04 am
Snip Snip says...



I agree with Snoink. You should probably stick to your message. There a few place where there unnessicary periods and no capitalizzation, but, it's poerty, so it could be purposeful. Good job!
so give me all your poison,
and give me all your pills,
if this is what you want then
FIRE AT WILL
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 109
Thu Nov 17, 2005 7:30 pm
Teeeeo. says...



I really liked this, but I found a bit wrong with it...

mocking the emo trend of
slitting wrists and blacking eyes
I wear my wristbands proudly


I think this should be re-written:

mocking the emo trend,
of slitting wrists and blacking eyes;
I wear my wristbands proudly.

I don't know, I just felt that it should be that way :P[/quote]
  








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