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Young Writers Society


This I Promise



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594 Reviews



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Tue Jun 28, 2005 6:51 am
Crysi says...



*laughs* Last one, I promise. This is the sequel to One More Night to Live, also written a while ago.

~*~

All my thoughts hang on one precious word
Uttered by your torn lips
The same lips that have tasted tears and blood
And the despair that is the only thing left after a lost love

Everything I am strains toward you
Waiting for you to brighten my day again
Or bring me down as we slide together
Forever descending down the rocky mountain
Breaking our bones as we crash against boulders
And sharp memories and words not forgotten

But even through the tumult
I shall sing your name
Even through the tears
I shall cling to you ever tighter
For I WILL NOT LET YOU GO.
Not until death has claimed my body
And the last threads of consciousness
Detach themselves from my war-torn soul
So battered by life and tossed by emotions
That it threatens to evaporate at a mere touch

Until then, dear one,
I shall hold on to you as tightly as I know how
Sacrificing all I am to keep you safe
Breaking our pact will never be an option to me
As I am buffetted by all you have gone through
And my eyes flutter closed with the tears of your life
You will not be forsaken by me, my darling.

Not tonight.

Not ever.

Put your trust in me, loved one.
I shall not fail you.

This I promise, with my life and yours
And that, my love, is the deepest oath

I can ever

hope

to make.
Love and Light
  





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Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:52 pm
Jennafina says...



Wow.. your poem is SPECTACULAR!!! I absolutely LOVE IT!!! I really like all the imagery in it. It gives a picture almost. I love dark poetry.
  





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Fri Jul 01, 2005 10:35 pm
Crysi says...



Thank you! It really was a freewrite first, but it came out as a poem. I really love this one, although the subject is still a bit tender. Thanks again. :)
Love and Light
  





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Fri Jul 01, 2005 10:48 pm
Terrwyn says...



YES! Powerful, intriguing, and a definite emotion conveyed. I admired the strong message you sent with this. This piece is truly a gem, Crysi, and I hope to see more of this in the future. "The same lips that have tasted tears and blood" GORGEOUS. The way you showed rocky times by figuratively"sliding down the mountain" made the whole poem a masterpiece of imagery. Broken bones, broken hearts, broken spirit, but poetry that flows. Angsty and dark, yet melodic and beautiful.
  





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Points: 890
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Tue Jul 19, 2005 12:23 am
xAngelWithAHeartOfGoldx says...



I have to agree, I love this poem. It's so full of imagery and I love the way it just flows. I cannot find any criticism for it.
Wonderful job! :D
-Jennie-

Sometimes the best things in life, come from people or things you never thought of before.
  








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