Young Writers Society

Read DQ's "End of all Hope, Beginning of Eternal Sadness," before this, if you haven't already.

I kind of just wrote this, but, whatever.

He awakens
And his grief is forgotten
He speaks, and his voice echoes
Echoes throughout the void to call
Call upon a comrad
A comrad with which he will arise
Arise from his puddle of frozen tears
A faint voice answers.
A familiar voice, of comaraderie and alliance
It grows stronger and stronger still
Until it echoes alongside his.
They create a harmonious tune
Of celebration
They will always be there
Sturdy and steadfast upon there pedestals
Envied,
Praised, forever

Wow. The two poems are like laced together... yeah... I liked the way you wrote this, especially the first half of it. I think you used root "comrad" too much. Maybe for this line:

"A familiar voice, of comaraderie and alliance "

you can have something else. Otherwise, it was a really good read.

Pretty good. I have a problem with some lines, however, where you repeat half of the line above, e.g.
He speaks, and his voice echoes
Echoes throughout the void to call
Call upon a comrad
A comrad with which he will arise
And so on. It makes it a bit unnecessarily choppy and repetitive. Overall, it was good though, especially the concept.

but, Liz there is a kind a poem written in this kind of way... I don't know the name...I saw it once and tried to memorized but I don't know more..Just know the method

The title is great. Those things are happening and I have no clue what it's about... It just means positively to me.. I guess that it is? Words..