Young Writers Society

As Darkness falls,
My hate rises,
i cut to make the pain go away.

The bloods running down my arm,
dripping to the floor,
the pain is soothing.
My hearts beating slower and slower.

No one's there waiting for me
at the end of the light,
no one even knows I'm there...

Ack!

Steer away from poems about suicide, or may God help you. Because you are a new writer, I am not going to say too much, because I've nothing to really compare this to, but know that I absolutely loathe poems about suicide and will rip into them. And this is no excpetion. Just for your own future reference.

Well, I read your song and it was amazing. I don't really like this one as much because it's depressing, cliche, and the whole shebang. I really liked your song though--that was absolutely amazing. Maybe you should stick with song writing.

Suicide poems need to be undertaken very very carefully, they can be good if approached in the right way, however more often than not they end up tacky cliched or whingy sounding. Yours fits into the cliched catergory, I see potential here though so maybe you should try your hand at different subject matter.

didnt like it...too many other poems on it, try song writing (you are really good at it!)

I didn't realize it was a song at first. But then after few reads got it.
I actaully like poems/songs about suicide. I don't know why but I do and this was very good. Your very good at song writing.