Young Writers Society

Why is it a "callous" sacrifice? It doesn't seem to fit with the theme of your poem. Is callous actually the word you wanted? If it is, then you need to explain your choice better.

Can you uncapitalize Fun, or capitalize freedom and fairness to make that stanza more cohesive?

I'm okay with one word sentences, because I don't really believe in grammar for poetry. But hunting isn't working as its own line... can you move it down a line?

Only put in the commas YOU feel are necessary. The rules of creative writing are flexible.

Nostalgia is a very lovely emotion, and I like the way you've captured it here.