Legion

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Points: 1413
Reviews: 16

Mon Sep 26, 2011 8:58 pm

BaronFlame says...

This poem was rather hastily written and I was distracted while I was writing it, henceforth it may not be as good as my previous works.

Note : I sometimes post poems as notes on my facebook account under the alias "Pseudonymous Rex". I just wanted to make it clear so that if someone stumbles across this there, he/she should know that this isn't plagiarised material.

--

Ancient in days, spawned ere the dawn of man
Princes of hell, these sons of none
Abominations
Still walking this realm, Lucifer’s first and last blight on man.

A thousand whispers, a thousand thoughts assail their prey
Haunting the strong, ensnaring the weak
Voices like fell wraiths of sins
Striking naught but the final blow, the carrion’s beak
Ever unrivaled, bane they have none
Pestilence’s heirs, bringers of war
Wilting wills with their venomous smiles
Infecting, ever whispering with their forked tongue.

Ancient in days, spawned ere the dawn of man
Reapers to some, corruptors of many
Confined to a single vessel
They were Legion, for they were many.

--

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." - Bilbo Baggins

"I did it! I finally killed Batman! In front of a bunch of vulnerable, disabled kids!!! Now get me Santa Claus!" - Joker

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Points: 919
Reviews: 13

Tue Sep 27, 2011 9:55 am

HausOfDay says...

This reminds me so much of Paradise Lost, really beautiful language. I often feel this way about humans, if that is what you're addressing here, if not I'm completely off, haha, but then that's the beauty of poetry, it's completely objective and anyone can read it differently. Anyway, off the point, yeah, humans are quite loathsome, and I wrote something similar to this a while back about humans being all want and no give, and even if we do give it's only for the want, that we are selfish as Lucifer and are a 'design flaw'. You're a wonderful poet and this is certainly well written.

Ofcourse it is in your head, but why does that mean that it is not real? - Wisest man I've ever known, Albus Dumbledore.

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Points: 1014
Reviews: 22

Wed Sep 28, 2011 9:34 am

samii27 says...

I liked it, considering it was only hastily written. When writing poetry I always thinks it looks nicer and flows nicer when each section has the same amount of lines. In your poem the first section is four, your second is eight and the last is again four, so maybe just put an extra space in the middle section. But I guess the amount of spaces doesnt really colide with your writng, so it is fine.

Samantha

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Points: 668
Reviews: 131

Wed Sep 28, 2011 2:44 pm

DukeofWonderland says...

BaronFlame wrote:Ancient in days, spawned ere the dawn of manI think it's were, right?
Princes of hell, these sons of none
Abominations
Still walking this realm, Lucifer’s first and last blight on man.This is a blank verse right? B/c it doesn't rhyme too well

A thousand whispers, a thousand thoughts assail their prey
Haunting the strong, ensnaring the weak
Voices like fell wraiths of sinsI didn understand this statement
Striking naughtis this not? but the final blow, the carrion’s beak
Ever unrivaled, bane they have none
Pestilence’s heirs, bringers of war
Wilting wills with their venomous smiles
Infecting, ever whispering with their forked tongue.thiese 4 statements were the best

Ancient in days, spawned ere the dawn of man
Reapers to some, corruptors of many
Confined to a single vessel
They were Legion, for they were many.the ending was- epic:D

So I guess I may not have understood all, I don't have a very developed vocabulary

"The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it
regularly went cuckoo."
-- Terry Pratchett, "Wyrd Sisters"

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