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Young Writers Society


Rhuem



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41 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 41
Sat Nov 05, 2005 9:15 am
torsa_n_muse says...



Rheum

If nothing is lost on earth
Living is still at hand.
Loser’s tears are drops of silver
-The solace on the scorching sand.
The venom delicious
To be encompassed at mind
Meant to rinse
Impurity from life behind.
It’s a habit and a shelter
Soul’s continuous motivator
Destiny of existence
Symbol of one’s earthly presence.

If one has never cried,
The smog of life’s unseen.
No reflection then, has fallen
On the lenses, by themselves which are lean.
The sweetest companion,
As per solitude’s opinion.
Then the flush of the cheeks all red,
Looks as if they bled and through tears said-
‘Why these troubles come to me?’
But haven’t those same eyes loved the sea
Made of same saline crystals,
That pours at sorrow and greatest glee.

They are but the tribute to the missing,
The only memoir of the departed
Behind newfound laughter’s ring.
And the longing for that which has never been
It thus is the purest gem on earth ever
The part of life that has to be won,
And calls for a fight claiming-‘all is not over!’

The blood and flesh
Which has ever bred,
Through lively glows like rheum
Man has got to shed…
  





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176 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 176
Thu Dec 08, 2005 3:59 pm
Muse says...



Way hay, another no commenter!
You are a very good poet. I've read some of your work, and blimey its good. The rhyming doesn't feel forced, but at the end of the firts stanza it just doesn't rhyme at all...but then it rhymes at the end of the rest of the stanza's..except for the third one actually. Hmm..madness.
Except for the confusion with some of the rhymes, the content is very good and it is certainly well written. Good work again x
"Sometimes we see a cloud that's dragonish,
A vapour sometimes like a bear or lion,
A towered citadel, a pendant rock,
A forked mountain, or blue promontory,
With trees upon't that nod unto the world,And mock our eyes with air.."
  





User avatar
41 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 41
Sat Dec 10, 2005 10:48 am
torsa_n_muse says...



hey..u seem to dig out my poems frm oblivion..neways thanx for doing so...

as for the rhyming pattern, i just wrote the way i felt, so no forced rhyme..but the pattern is irregular.

thanks for ommenting on it. :D
ToRsA

WhaT's In a NamE, BuT sorrY cAnt DO WithoUt onE!!

visit link: www.torsa-g.blogspot.com
  








You sound like you're becoming emotionally involved with the custard.
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