Be seeing you

Three years ago you left.
The warning you gave did not give me enough time
Enough time to think, enough time to know... to know what to do.

There was a time where guilt ate at me from every corner of my heart.
When forgiveness settled in, it brought with it, understanding.
Understanding that your duty was done and for that you deserved something better.

Although there is pain that I carry around everyday
I also carry around a precious gift given by you.
The gift of your love and the morals and values that you instilled in me - showing that you live on through me.

Your body may have left us but your spirit still lives on.
Each memory that God gave us is forever chiseled onto my heart
It is these memories that makes me smile warmly despite the fact that I miss you.

It feels like you're on holiday and that I'll see you soon
Now that you're up in heaven, I know that that's true.
Save me a seat next to you Oupa - be seeing you.

Really, really emotional. You have a great sense of vocabulary which you use very well. There is one line though which kind of confuses me. It's the line: "There was a time where guilt ate at me". Shouldn't it be when guilt *ate* me? I think that the word "at" for me makes the line a bit confusing. Maybe it's meant to be there or maybe I'm just dumb lol. Keep up the good work- I'm surprised this is the first poem you have posted on this site.

Hi thank you so much for your post I was really nervous about submitting stuff! I'll definitely take a look at that line and maybe see what other people have to say because now I'm also a bit confused haha! Thank you very much though! xxx

And how real is that. I can actually feel the quality. It's superb really!!! The honesty with which you have written it... Besides that the feelings seem to flow throughout this piece... Keep writing like that!

Aw, I really felt emotion from this poem. I'm not the best reviewer, but I'll comment a bit.

Although there is pain that I carry around everyday
I also carry around a precious gift given by you.

I really love this line. It's that contradiction (sorta) kind of thing that really appeals to me. It's says, "I am held down by pain, but at the same time, you lift me up." I dunno. That's just what I get from it.

I know some poems are supposed to be vague, but maybe it'd be nice if we knew a tiny bit more. What relationship does the speaker have to the person who died? Why/how did they die? You said:

Understanding that your duty was done and for that you deserved something better.

Now the word 'duty' makes me think of the military, so I get the impression that perhaps the person died while serving. Maybe just answering one of the questions above would get the readers more emotionally attatched to the story.

This was great, keep writing!
I'm trying to improve with my reviews, so bear with me!
-Dai

Thanks for the review It always means alot that a person would take time in the firs place to review my stuff ! To give a bit more background on the poem : it's about my grandfather (Oupa) who died from Liver Cancer 3 years ago. He served in the police force as deputy commisioner of the South African police force so he was kind of a big deal. He was friends with our former president Nelson Mandela. I think the fact that he was loved by so many people and then died at such a young age made it harder but over time I've dealt with it and healed and that's what the poem is about. There is another poem that I wrote for him on his last birthday that I will be submitting soon Thanks again for your review xxx

Aw, this almost made me cry and trust me, I don't cry often, so the fact that my eyes misted over was a big thing! This poem is beautiful and I'm glad I didn't stop at reading your first one; I'm glad I checked out this other poem, because I love it!

I also think that the vagueness adds to it. Its ambigious, but that's what I like about it. In effect, because the relationship between the two characters it kept hidden, it is sort of up to the reader to fill in the gaps, to make the decision for themselves. In this way, the reader can relate the poem to his/her circumstances. In other words, when I read the poem, I was thinking of my grandmother, who died a while ago.

You have a real talent and I really hope you post some more, because I'll be looking forward to seeing them.