This is a nice little pair of senryu. However, they are not haiku. You might like to have a look at this: It is a crash course in writing haiku and senryu, written as a collection of senryu. Please, please learn what a haiku is, and what a haiku isn't. This might also help.
So, these are good senryu. The only thing I'd change is the description.
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Anyway, I thought these were nice. I'm not a fan of movie marathons (I'm prone to headaches) but I appreciated these nonetheless. Nice and light and fun! You should write some more of these to give us all a laugh. Also, loving your signature! Nice work!
Sare
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a psychologist.
Short and sweet: this was a really cute piece and I enjoyed the youthful (and somewhat snarky) themes contained in it! The part about sleeping made me laugh; ahhhh, the good old days of all nighters and seeing who could stay up until the next morning. I loved this. Good job
All I know, is that admitting that I'm bi was the only time I ever felt like I was truly myself and it really freed me from the eternal depression/prison I felt like I was trapped in.. and figuring that out really explained why I found emo girls so unbelievably alluring. — Junebug
