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Moody Days That End in Y (Poetry Pair Contest)

Jashael · 2011-04-01T09:22:03Z

Jash and Kagi's entry for the Poetry Pair Contest. My parents say I've issues; ____ they tend to just get mad Let’s see 'em walk in my shoes! ____ - and feel these teenage fads! They always complain 'bout the choices I make, ____ 'bout how repulsive I can be, ____ ____ 'bout my six wanted innate mistakes, ____ ____ ____ and 'bout my fashion impulsivity They ask me: ____ "Why, dear, why? ____ ____ are you like a roller coaster ride? ____ We always try to get a grip, ____ ____ but we fail to chase your mind! ____ "Yesterday, you stayed in your room ____ Today, you’re loud and noisy. ____ A minute ago, you held a broom. ____ Now, you’re throwing wrappers of candy.” ____ “Thanks for leaving me alone yesterday. ____ Today I need your company. ____ A minute ago I wanted to show loyalty. ____ Now,” – I cough – “my liberty! ____ “Teen mood swings, I guess, are inexplicable. ____ ____ Wait! ____ ____ ____ maybe chemicals," I say. ____ ____ “Yes, Doctors would say chemicals. ____ But demons, Religions would state.” ____ “But fret not! ____ ____ I'm not alone. ____ ____ People my age understand and know. ____ I wonder why you don’t? ____ ____ since you’ve been this young before! ____ “Though I have to admit: ____ ____ At times, I think I've got it figured out. ____ I said 'think', not 'know'. ____ So I better just shut my mouth . . .” ____ ____ ____ ____ Or not?

fireheartedkaratepup

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Fri Apr 08, 2011 4:16 am

fireheartedkaratepup says... · Fri Apr 08, 2011 4:16 am

....................should I comment on this, since the deadline has passed already?

I understand why you used the 'bout abbreviation--rhythm, right? Though those lines seem a bit wordy. And this part confused me:

bout my six wanted innate mistakes,

Wanted innate mistakes? What?

Guh, my brain is so tired. Anyway, I just wanted to review something of yours, so I did. Goodnight.

Oh, and I like the poem. Very nice.

"Ok, Lolpup. You can be a girl worth fighting for."
--Pengu

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Moody Days That End in Y (Poetry Pair Contest)

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