A Demon In Disguise

This is a poem that I wrote last year for my religion project, which was on temptation. Let me know you think (good or bad) Thanks!


I know that you are wrong,
But I convince myself you are right,
You are that haunting shadow,
Hidden within the light,

I sometimes feel weak,
And that is when you’re there,
Grabbing hold of my hand,
Pretending that you care,

You show me joy,
And how easy things could be,
How simply I could get them,
Yet I still never feel free,

You get into my mind,
And take control of my thoughts,
Against you I feel powerless,
Like I’m in a fight that can’t be fought,

I try to escape,
But your grasp tightens around me,
I let out a scream,
But I can’t even breathe,

I am your prisoner,
At your beck and call,
Pleading for freedom,
Or just waiting for your fall,

Without you I feel hollow,
But with you I feel trapped,
I don’t know which is worse,
Because either way I am cracked,

I wish that I was strongest enough,
To go out on my own,
Without you by my side,
Why does it hurt to be alone,

I swear one day I’ll do it,
Break free from these chains,
Free to control my own life,
And no longer feel this pain,

You are temptation,
And I hate you so,
Why is it so hard,
To just let you go?

Excellent! I Love it..
you've chosen the proper words to write this poem.

I love this poem! I think it really describes temptation well and I could relate to all the feeling you talked about. It seems like you've really explored temptation in your mind and you covered in your poem many different aspects of it. I especially liked the stanzas when you spoke of temptation coming when you're weak, "Taking my hand/ pretending you care" I think it was. Just a spelling issue was that I think you meant "hollow" not "hallow". Also occasionally there was a line that just didn't fit with the rhythm of the piece and that could be fixed just by adding or omitting a syllable or two.
Overall an amazing, in depth poem. Thanks for posting!