Young Writers Society

silence and words part
playing hide and seek in the dark
it’s your surprise
i litter you with that blue light
and catch your eyes just right
the game is over

so funny when we’re serious
laughing cause we’re delirious
it’s my surprise
how much i crave this time
so light, so heavy, so mine
the days are over

sleep never came so soon
waking late in the afternoon
and i’m not surprised
how easily your heart fits into me
the ache is growing thin to me
my search is over

I like the way you ended each stanza with stating that something is over. It really gave flavor to the poem.
I know lyric poetry is not supposed to have imagery, but your poems give me a faint picture, and I think that is a sign of a good writer.
Godd work, well done.

-*Twinkles

This was very nice The only thing I didn't like was how you had 'suprise' in the middle of the first stanza, and it didn't rhyme, but the other verses rymed the whole way through. Other than that, it was fine!