Young Writers Society

Dawn of creation

The clouds roared, wind cried.
The moon glistened, and sun sighed.
Earth enforced its wish with all might,
Time enforced its ultimate right-
All asking the creator to shower beauty as life.

The night and the day were already ripe.
The dusk gave a giant dive,
Into the vast ether seeking although
A quick fast way for dawn of life.

The elements of nature as
Fire, earth, wind, water and sky…
Came synchronised in-group of five.
There was the dawn of creation
In new buds of fresh
Flowering melody of ‘life’.

*claps* very impressive indeed m'lady. But I think it would be waaay better if you read the poem while listening to a great song, it has more effect to it,..

Impressive indeed, but the overly hyped use of "The" in the beginning of half of the poem was annoying.

Yes, I didn't like the "The" in the beginning, it kinda gets on your nerves.

Very nice, I really liked it. Wonderful work.

-*Twinkles

thank you for your criticism. i have got rid of some of the 'the' in stanza one and yes i realise it sounds better.
thank you again!

-torsa

Much better.