Dreamer

Sweet dreams,take me away
to a place where I don't have to pretend to be
something else,a better me;
Where there is no one to lead me astray.
Only golden streets and silver trees,
No overwhelming expectations
just me and my creations
still ,silent the world calmed by a magical breeze
Here I can make trees walk
large crowds seem silent
and nature talk.
Here I am alive and confident.
I am a dreamer,its in my soul
I create and control.....

By the way I had a lot of trouble with punctuations so please point out any problem.Your reviews will be greatly appreciated.(because i need all the help I can get)

[quote="july4ruby"]Sweet dreams,take me awaycomma not needed
to a place where I don't have to pretend to be
something else,a better me;
Where there is no one to lead me astray.
Only golden streets and silver trees,
No overwhelming expectations
just me and my creationsI would have a full stop here
still ,silent the world calmed by a magical breezeAgain a full stop
Here I can make trees walkcomma
large crowds seem silentcomma
and nature talk.
Here I am alive and confident.
I am a dreamer,its in my soul
I create and control.....quote]


The thing with the punctuation is that it is different for each person, but I think my comments create a rhythm which is needed in poetry.

The actual content in the poetry I actually like and I like the description.

Can't wait to read more.

PM for anything.

~Retro Disco666

When I clicked preview to see what I typed I found out that Retro had reviewed and posted while I was typing.... But I hope this helps anyway with punctuation.

july4ruby wrote:Sweet dreams, take me away
to a place where I don't have to pretend to be
something else, a better me;
Where there is no one to lead me astray.
Only golden streets and silver trees,
No overwhelming expectations
just me and my creations
still, silent the world calmed by a magical breeze
Here I can make trees walk,
large crowds seem silent
and, nature talk.
Here I am alive and confident.
I am a dreamer,it's in my soul
I create and control.....

Over all I did enjoy this piece. Keep writing!
~Lady purple.