Soulmate

Soulmate

One very lurid and rainy night,
one very reckless driver's sight
paid no mind to the red traffic light,
nor to the wayfarer, who had the right.

As the wayfarer now lays, no longer upright,
on his own, private burial site,
his breathing is no longer a fight.
Has someone lost their soulmate tonight?

Hi there break my heart! June here!

Your poems are so sadly sweet, dear!

There really isn't much to say about this. You have a perfect rhyme scheme throughout, a perfect rhythm and an absolutely beautiful flow. I wouldn't change one word here, dear.

The question that's raised in the last line brings the sadness to the poem. It's sad before, but when you come to that line-- it's just so much. It's almost as if the wayfarer is unidentified in this poem.

Absolutely beautiful, dear. I have nothing to say about this other than it was extremely well written and overall brilliant.

Beautiful . Absolutely amazing.

June

thank you so much!! you have no idea how absolutely amazing that feels to have such a good critt!!!!!!
well, ok maybe you do haha!!
thanks

XoXo~AsH

touching, i enjoyed reading your poem.

And yes i have lost a soulmate,
but in a diffrent way.
its sad to say,
but it just had to happen that way.
an innocent soul had to pay.

there you go another stanza for your poem.

KaribbeanDiva wrote:touching, i enjoyed reading your poem.

And yes i have lost a soulmate,
but in a diffrent way.
its sad to say,
but it just had to happen that way.
an innocent soul had to pay.

there you go another stanza for your poem.

um thank you?

break~my~heart wrote:Soulmate

One very lurid and rainy night,
one very reckless driver's sight
paid no mind to the red traffic light,
nor to the wayfarer, who had the right.

As the wayfarer now lays, no longer upright,
on his own, private burial site,
his breathing is no longer a fight.
Has someone lost their soulmate tonight?

^^ Yay! Another great poem from you and I'm happy. You've seriously made my day with your poetry. All I have to say is thumbs up

Hey! I'm Kat
I'm silly to review, because I have nothing else to add. Expect that the stanza given to you by KaribbeanDiva would mess up your flow.
Anyway, this was beautifully written! The sadness in this, makes this piece remarkable.
The flow, the rhyming, it's all very good.
Amazing

*runs off to read the rest of your work*