Darkness

The darkness closes in on me.
I call out for you,
You don't answer.
It's just me in the dark.
No one there to help;
No one to replace you.
A shape looms out of the dark.
It latches on,
Swiftly overpowering me.
I am helpless;
It has me in it's iron grip.
It's twisting my thoughts,
My emotions.
It's twisting my life.
It's name, is despair.

ClimberSquirrel wrote:
The darkness closes in on me. It sounds twisted. Try delete that and see if it fits like that.
I call out for you, ...or "I whisper your name"
You don't answer. and don't get answer.
It's just me in the dark. --->this means that you are ALONE in the dark, so you could try to use that adjective.
No one there to help;
No one to replace you. (Why are you so evil? Do you want others to get scared and feel unprotected? Or you aren't scared and you feel safe in the dark? This means you got to express some emotions. Tell us about your feelings .)
A shape looms out of the dark.
It latches on, "It laches on like hope"
Swiftly overpowering me. This was nice verse.
I am helpless;
It has me in it's iron grip.
It's twisting my thoughts,
My emotions.
It's twisting my life.
It's name, is despair.Try: "They call it dark,
I call it despair"

The whole poem sounds unconnected. Verse after verse you're putting interpunction signs that scatters your thoughts. But this is a real gem in poetry, you could make it much better and when you finish it I would like you to send it to me 'cause I really liked your theme and motives.
Another advice: Try to put some night(NOCTURNAL) elements.

Great poem CS. I hope everything works out and best of luck.

I really liked that, I was surprised that you are 11-years-old! (no offense, my writing totally stunk at 11)

Now on to the review:
It kind of felt like it was a rough draft, I say you should maybe polish it up a bit and add some more descriptive words.

Keep on writing!

Wow. This is just beautiful. One nit-pick however:

A shape looms out of the dark.

I would put this line and everything after it in it's own stanza. It's got a different idea then the first bit of the poem, therefore it should be on it's own.

As for this feeling like a rough draft, I simply think it could be expanded, especially when the shape is looming out of the darkness, and when the narrator is in the dark.

If you have any questions, PM me

~Rosey