The universe on top of me

I want to live,
I want to shout,
I want to feel
the universe on top of me.
I want to run in freedom,
I want to cry with joy,
I want to live,
I want to feel
the universe on top of me
Like a shipwrecked person in the sea,
I want to find my place,
just find my place.

Here is the original extract (In Spanish)

Quiero vivir,
quiero gritar,
quiero sentir
el universo sobre mi.
quiero correr en libertad,
quiero llorar de felicidad,
quiero vivir,
quiero sentir
el universo sobre mi.
Como una náufrago en el mar,
quiero encontrar mi sitio,
sólo encontrar mi sitio.

Hey, Luciano! So, I really liked this. The Spanish was absolutely beautiful! The English one is great as well, but I just thought that after the first "universe on top of me" you could leave the first line how it is, and then say "to cry with joy, to live, to feel," instead of repeating I want. But, hey! It's just my opinion and it's still really great if you leave it as is. Keep on keepin' on!

xoxo,
Shannon

Me gusta mucho. Es como las palabras fueron sacadas de mi boca. Es como siento en mi vida. Que te inspiras?

ooh, I liked that alot!!! It was so cool that it was spanish too!!

You're really good at writing. Keep posting stuff so I can read! Lol

Darn.... This isn't long enough to count as review! And it's all your fault for writing something so good!! JK



XoXo~AsH

break~my~heart wrote:ooh, I liked that alot!!! It was so cool that it was spanish too!!

You're really good at writing. Keep posting stuff so I can read! Lol

Darn.... This isn't long enough to count as review! And it's all your fault for writing something so good!! JK



XoXo~AsH

If when you said I'm really good at writing, did you mean my other poems or this one? 'Cause this one wasn't written by me. It's the lyrics for my 3rd favourite song of my 3rd favourite band. Oh yeah, it was originally in Spanish.