Young Writers Society

You stood him up
Left him to watch and wait for you to come
Didn't say anything
Just didn't turn up

It must seem simple to you.
You got to live, carefree, no responsiblities
Had your fun
Didn't look back

Well it's not easy for me
I'm the one that had to watch him tonight
Had to watch him look for you
Had to watch him fall flat
Had to watch his heart break
And it's breaking me in two

I can't deny it
It hurts to see you with him, to wish that I stood in your place
But this hurts
so much more

To see you
Throw him aside, like he's nothing when he's everything to me
It hurts to see him
so hurt inside

It's not easy for me
Not easy to not say something
To try and take his pain
To try and heal his wounds
To try and finally tell him
That I love him

Tonight I wish
That I could just cry for him, and somehow make it better
That I could fix everything
And make all right

Tonight I wish
That I could somehow make you see what you've done
And that you would fix it
Make everything right

It's not easy for me
To not speak up and say the things I want to
That you're not right for him
That you don't really care about him
That I do, more than anything
It's so hard

It's not easy for me
To not come over and smack you across the face
For not seeing what you've got
For not appreciating it
For not loving him
the way you should

It's not easy for me...

This is going to be a poem you really have to be committed to working on if you want to make it work. A ton of people have this type of problem, so they write some poem about it and it always ends up sounding about exactly the same. Which is bad, especially if you're like us, (the reviewers), and you have to read virtually the same poem over and over and over again.

End of third stanza- these last two lines are kind of redundant. Try not to use any form of the word 'break' twice. It just doesn't work.

Middle of sixth stanza- to try...kind of repetitive, if you get what I mean. especially after three lines of of the same thing.

Seventh stanza- You're basically saying the same thing over and over again, like you are, for some reason, trying to make the poem longer. If you try to do this, all you have is a bunch of bored, hyperactive people at the end of it. Try to cut down on that.

That's it for my nit-picks. I like the last line, it's kind of drifting off and...peaceful...

I loved the start it was great I can relate to it so well. However it went on for a just a little to long and dragged it's self out therefore putting the whole poem down because you forget the great start.

It's not easy for me
To not speak up and say the things I want to
That you're not right for him
That you don't really care about him
That I do, more than anything
It's so hard

It's not easy for me
To not come over and smack you across the face
For not seeing what you've got
For not appreciating it
For not loving him
the way you should

I think you should take these two stanzas out or compress them it just perlongs the poem

wu