Call

The inner workings of my mind,
As far away as they are now,
Tell me of a person, a special kind,
One that none can disavow.

The scoffers tell me of my downfalls;
The uplifters tell me what I can do.
The phone chatters, someone calls.
I answer and discover--it was you.

First off, I would like to say I really enjoyed reading this. It has been a while since I have been able to read a poem that both rhymed and flowed. Not to mention it gives a short and sweet imagery practically anyone can familiarize with.

I just have a few things I would like point out:

one that none could disavow.

The entire poem is in the present tense, but the word "could" is obviously past. I feel that changing it to "can" would give the phrase a stronger character.

The scoffers tell me of my downfalls

It would be nice to see another period, or even better, a semicolon after this line.

I answer, and discover...it was you.

I think the comma is unnecessary. And personally (keep in mind that this is just me), I find the triple periods annoying. If it was me I would replace it with "that", a dash, or a colon. But then again, that's just me.

Once again, I applaud you on your work. Such a lovely poem! I look forward to reading more.

Fixedededed. Thanks for your input.

As much as like using the three periods...I really don't think the last sentence works well with them. It actually sounds pretty corny. Also, it would sound better if you replaced discover with another shorter synonym. The rhyming was okay, although 'disavow' sounded pretty forced.

No one likes ellipses anymore.

Until I can think of a word that fits and rhymes, disavow will have to stay. I just kinda shoved that in there from a rhyming dictionary to be honest.

Rhyming's kinda hard sometimes...

Ellipses! That’s what they're called! I kept trying to remember the other night.

Anyways, I'm so sorry, but I forgot to tell you:

The scoffers tell me of my downfalls;
The uplifters tell me what I can do.

Because you used a semicolon, you need to "de-capitalize" "The" from the second line.

Also, I though about something – is “uplifters” a single word or two?

So yeah, that's pretty much it.

Yay!

...er... yeah.

I love ellipses, but you have to use them right. Ellipses signify a trailing off in words, but you wanted something shorter. So the dash really works there nicely.