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Young Writers Society


Since you left me, girl!



Random avatar


Gender: None specified
Points: 633
Reviews: 25
Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:31 pm
IlhamAlKhatib says...



Please read this and tell me what you think about it...

"My love, my girl, my world...
I miss you more than you can expect...
Love you more than it can be held... I adore you... !!
Since you left, my life turned to a nightmare, Though I'm really doing well at my work in such quick...
I try to work hard just to forget you, but I just can't do
I cry every night because I lost you.
You were the flower that gave the taste, smell and the beauty of my life,
and because you pressed on yourself every time and at every fight even if it was my fault
You used to understand me even if I couldn't explain somehow
I'm broken, speechless, breathless without you... !!
I'm kinda hollow... But you don't believe me, and I don't blame you,
I promised you not to drink, I did drink.
You told me you felt lonely that day and I left you.
I don't deserve you, you deserve someone who would be the happiest just to be your servant, and I'm ready for that, my soulmate!
You know, maybe we needed a little space, but not this long even.
Because I considered all the things now... I think you were right talking about the baby, we're not so young to make family
If I listened to you, I'd be with you now
I ignored you enough to refuse absolutely and not even say "It's okay a bit later"... I guess I also don't deserve to have a baby.
I feel guilty just to think I hurt you
I can't even sleep. You can ask my friends about me now!
And you'd know how wrong and bad I am
I regret that I didn't try to commit a suicide that night or a bit later!
I still do our own things, now like before but without you... I buy your favorite perfume every now and then so I still have your smell with your pictures and memories... And the scarf you gifted me, I still wear it in my special moments as I wish you beside me...
And just to see you again, I'll do the impossible... !!"

The air of now is taking me to a road I don't know...
A road I've never been before...
Just feel something saying to me he's somewhere out there...
Longing... you're far a way... missing you... Looking for you !!





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187 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 350
Reviews: 187
Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:24 pm
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ChocoCookie says...



Ilham, I think you should post this somewhere else, not here.
You have to click "submit" on the top, and write this down, and submit it so that we can review it.

This place is for continuing stories. A person writes the plot and other people joins in to continue it. Its sort of like a game. This isn't the place to submit works.

But hey, I liked this one! ^^
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.


New to YWS? We'll help you out! <3'





Random avatar


Gender: None specified
Points: 633
Reviews: 25
Sat Oct 27, 2012 12:33 pm
IlhamAlKhatib says...



But I currently have 0 points... how to score points !!

The air of now is taking me to a road I don't know...
A road I've never been before...
Just feel something saying to me he's somewhere out there...
Longing... you're far a way... missing you... Looking for you !!





User avatar
187 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 350
Reviews: 187
Sat Oct 27, 2012 6:04 pm
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ChocoCookie says...



Just go to the "Forum" category and keep posting on "Randomosity" or "The Lounge" or any topic from there and post on any subjects given on that forum. :)

That way, you can score points.
Last edited by ChocoCookie on Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.


New to YWS? We'll help you out! <3'





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74 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 340
Reviews: 74
Sat Oct 27, 2012 6:42 pm
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LemonyIce says...



ChocoCookie wrote:Just go to the "Forum" category and keep posting on "Randomosity" or "The Lounge" or any topic from there and post on any subjects given on that forum.

That way, you can score points.


Nope. ^.^" You can only earn points by reviewing other's works. Go to the "Browse" tab and click on any work that interests you, read it, and review it by telling the author/poet what you liked/disliked, what they can do to make it better, some mistakes they might have made, etc. ^.^

Here are some links that may help you review:

When Reviewing, Consider
Reviewing for Dummies
How To Make A Poetry Review Go Further
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest.
The trees keep the tempo and they sway in time.
Quartet of crickets chime in for the chorus.
If I were to pluck on your heart strings would you strum on mine?

~Plant Life, Owl City





User avatar
187 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 350
Reviews: 187
Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:19 pm
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ChocoCookie says...



Oh, wait.
I read "points" as "posts". =.="

Yes, I would suggest you to take LemonyIce's advice as I gave the wrong one and on a totally different topic. :S
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.


New to YWS? We'll help you out! <3'








don't try me bro
— Seirre