Young Writers Society

“Monster in the Mirror”
By: Amaranth Ebony

I don’t quite understand the other girls my age,
For they have this bizarre obsession
To stand before a polished pane of glass
And admire their own reflection.

What is so beautiful that they see?
For as far as I can tell,
When I look into my mirror each morning,
All I see is a monster from Hell.

She is my demon, borne of the Blaze,
With a temper as fiery as her eyes.
But, she is very clever to hide from the world
With my body as her disguise.

I can see she is plotting something
Within my tearful, dark eyes staring back…
Using my own body, she inflicts my wounds:
That is how she can attack.

Without my knowledge nor consent,
She brings a glimmering blade to my vein…
And with a deft swipe, blood beads at the slit,
Bringing me into a world of tears and pain.

She tells me that I deserve it-
That it’s the only way I can make things right…
That is the last thing I heard in my ear
Before I ventured into that dark, endless night.

My parents weep and mourn,
And my friends avoid me as I pass:
All because of the monster in the mirror,
Wearing my face in that pane of glass.

Hey there Amar! Welcome to YWS! We've already spoken in chat but I just thought I'd welcome you again!

Wow, this is quite a poem you have here! It is definately interesting and well written. I saw no grammatical errors, nor spelling mistakes. So bravo for that!

What I like most about this poem is the tone - it creates such an evocative image in your reader's mind, and helps the reader follow, especially with the help of such lovely flow.

I think the rhyming scheme you used also helped the poem to flow as nicely as it does (ABCB), neatly organised in quartrains. Nice.

Lastly, what I like about this is that it tells a story in an orderly manner. And of course, I like the story told: you reflection, you see as a demon. If I were to analyse this with some psychological facts, I would say that the narrator is perfectly aware of her true indentity but tries to keep that identity away, afraid of the things she would do if she let her true self come out.

I hope this isn't autobiographical. Please don't tell me you cut yourself or that you have a physical complex. If you do, I suggest you speak to someone, okay?

Either that or she really dislikes herself to be calling herself a demon, and noticing only the ugly.

So, once again, well done for this. Your use of metaphores was nice, the flow was enjoyable and overall, I really liked the whole feel of the poem - it's eerie, dark, mysterious but awkwardly enticing at the same time. ;D

Keep writing!

- Mikko.