z

Young Writers Society


The secrets of Death



User avatar
10 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 846
Reviews: 10
Tue Jan 17, 2012 9:53 pm
AubrielRose says...



There are ships that move beyond worlds we know
They cast black sails between heaven and earth
With choice as their compass, they watch us grow
Awaiting us to climb aboard from birth.

No map or promise to believe or find
No men at the row, no wheel for steering
On this voyage of self, of lonely mind
That ends where an answer parts a clearing.

Each sailor is faceless, awareness none
They have left identity behind and passed
What mattered in life for a life anon
Where they've been called by fate, where fate will act.

We are free to learn what Death may unveil,
All that Death asks is if we're ready to sail.
Last edited by AubrielRose on Wed Jan 18, 2012 3:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





User avatar
80 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5094
Reviews: 80
Wed Jan 18, 2012 12:36 am
Picklesole says...



This was really interesting! It takes a very different perspective on death than I would have thought of. It flowed well too. The only thing I would revise is capitilizing Death since you're personifying it. That's all!

-Picklesole :D
  





User avatar
11 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 837
Reviews: 11
Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:53 pm
soccerstar17 says...



That is a really neat poem! It was not what i expected at all! I liked how you ended it to tie everything together :D Good Job!!
He who laughs last, should do so from a safe distance.
  








"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known."
— Chuck Palahniuk