Young Writers Society

I dreamt a dream or a dream dreamt me, I don't know.
Note : I sometimes post poems as notes on my facebook account under the alias "Pseudonymous Rex". I just wanted to make it clear so that if someone stumbles across this there, he/she should know that this isn't plagiarised material.

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Blind he was, to white he woke
Deaf he was, with no voice he spoke
Unbeknownst to himself
Doomed, into Moirae’s cold embrace he strode.

Eden, draped in mist, crowned with dew
Eden, garbed in green in its eternal spring
Eden he beheld
Into doom’s eyes he stared, to his knees he fell.

Through Chronos’s hands into oblivion cast
Lost, into eternity’s loving embrace he passed
Waiting in limbo
The first, he who was doomed to be the last.

Entombed in silence’s womb, a song he heard
Summoning him, a voice he heard
Awoke he who fell
Freed from Oblivion’s grasp, dusk he beheld.

Eden, attired in light, crowned with fire
Eden, garbed in gold, in autumn
Eden he beheld
Tranquil, as if rocked to sleep under a spell.

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Hey Baron! Dogs here with your review of the day! This poem is really good, such strong imagery and I really love how you rooted all the imagery, description, and depth of your words in a story. A greek story and character to be percise. I'm a sap for greek mythology . My favorite part is defnietly the strong imagery and how you have such a widen range of vocabulary you are able to use it so well and apply it to your poem so well that it adds so much more depth to your writing.

"Eden, draped in mist, crowned with dew
Eden, garbed in green in its eternal spring"

Such a fantastic line! Sooooooo goood!!!!!!! So much imagery so much description. It are these things that, in my opinion, make your poems so strong and really adds to the brilliance of your writing.

The last stanza is such a fantastic closing! I am very impressed with your writing and I hope to read much more from you in the future. Keep up the good work!!!!


TuckEr EllsworTh

I think this is a good, strong poem. You instantly get an image in your head, and where it rhymes, it doesn't seemed forced. I really don't have enough experience to give you any decent critique! Good job!