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Young Writers Society


Sky



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29 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 889
Reviews: 29
Tue Nov 29, 2011 10:26 am
Mirasol says...



You are my sky.

The one that holds everything together.
The one that is always there for me, no matter the weather.

The one that I see first thing in the morning.
The one that, through tough times, keeps me going.

The one that looks beautiful, light or dark, rain or shine.
The one that never changes, deep down inside.

The one that is vast and tall, seemingly untouchable.
The one that makes me believe, all the more, that anything is possible.

The one that cradles the moon,stars and sun.
The one that, in my heart, is the only one.

You are my sky.
  





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32 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 568
Reviews: 32
Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:05 am
abbie651382 says...



I like your poem. The words you used were simple which were better. I find no flaws. I just don't know if my eyes didn't see. Thumbs up! Keep writing :)
Always wear a smile. You don't know people falling in love on you when you smile.
  





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38 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2117
Reviews: 38
Tue Nov 29, 2011 2:40 pm
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starrgazer says...



its really good :) just like the previous comment, the word choices were good; its nic to have a sweet and simple poem once in a while. I think the poem is just fine as it is. My favourite has to be the 2nd last line :3 Great work!
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

Pffffft, yeah right...fat lot of help sour lemon juice would do. When life also throws me a bag of sugar, then we'll start talking.

:)
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 615
Reviews: 16
Tue Nov 29, 2011 3:17 pm
Taxi says...



Hey Mirasol. This poem is amazing! It's simplistic, yet so powerful. It seems like something that absolutely anyone could relate to. I felt uplifted after reading it, and I don't often get that from poems. I'll definitely look at your other submissions; good job!
  





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249 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 9525
Reviews: 249
Tue Nov 29, 2011 6:07 pm
murtuza says...



Hi Mirasol!

This is a light and compact poem with wonderful lines and a great meaning. Many people would look at the sky as being a boring space with just clouds floating above and nothing more. But with your creative eye, you've managed to make a bright and lovely description about this everyday phenomenon and it makes me glad that these everyday sort of things are being made to sound so special. Because in all actuality, they are.

You are great with words and have wonderful potential. I'm hoping to read more. Keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza
:)
It's not about the weight of what's spoken.
It's about being heard.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 1104
Reviews: 9
Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:58 pm
ObdurateMiller says...



I really liked it. It was very descriptive and had a lot of depth. I hope you stay interested in writing because you could be really achieved someday. Remember, writing is about you and what you believe. Good luck.
ObdurateMiller
  








The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.
— Amelia Earhart